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AndrewHide

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  • Setting Sun at allpoetry
    how fast
    the apple trees grow--
  • Shadowed Bark at allpoetry
    shadowed bark the feel of moss
  • How Mournful. at allpoetry
    how mournful knowing I shall leave this world--

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  • on Tanka - Cold Sweat by funny1986, on November 8, 2006
    I can see from the poem this is aimed at a 5-7-5-7-7 sylable format. It works well as a short poem and you have used a good combination of sences and emotonal responces, (both required for tanka). The down side here is that the format doesn't meet the requirements of tanka (other than the miss taught concept that the tanka is a syllabic poem.)

    It is a good short poem, but lacks the poetic art of tanka in the traditional sense.

    Andrew

    language: 2, rhythm: 2, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 1.

  • on so much snow by AndrewHide, on November 18, 2005
    Thank you Edna,
    So much snow is the first line plus used as the title. As a tanka the punctuation is built into the form, any added punctuation would distupt the form's style. I skip the capitals tio prevent additional stress. The question mark is as much a part of Japanese as it is English, just the shap of the charactor changes.

    Andrew