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Asfand

I'm just a casual writer trying to pass away my dear summer vacations. I write poetry plus prose, but both are great!

I'm a heart fan for anime and music, um fourteen years old and well, kudos!

See ya! Have fun reading my poems!

  • Last seen on Sep 13 9:06 AM 2007. Member since July 23, 2007.
  • I am a 14 year old guy (Pakistan)
  • When I'm not writing, I'm painting, listening to music, ya noe ....
  • I have 3 comments

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  • on Advertise Yourself by himanshumodi, on July 23, 2007
    hm.....i kind of got a funny feeling while reading this. I don't know if you want criticism, but, anyhow, i think overall, the penning was exceptionally good. it had a uniquity that's very hard to find especially regarding the extremely difficult rhyming scheme ( forgive me, rhyme, isn't my thing!)

    What bothered me was not he idea, which i thought was pretty good, it was the rhyming words themselves. It is rather strained, some fo the words are definitely crammed in there, which not only chops the flow but also disrupts the person from the meaning and the actaul context.

    Fattening and flowery
    (Its good to be good)
    But excessively buttery
    The praises you pour
    Stop... You should
    You're just beginning to bore

    the second last line, it almost seems you couldn't figure out a word and you sort of put anything that rhymed! I'm not a novice at poetry, but i guess i can spot a few small errors!

    That's about it, over all, it was very nicely penned down. The quilling is amazing! Nice job!

  • on A Yellow Leaf by William McGarvey, on July 23, 2007
    I understand this in many different ways, there are so many different interpretations. I must saythat the ambiguity of your words is not only noticeable but completely wonderful! I like the penning here, it is unique and I love freeverse, its the only way to keep your ideas and write a poem, rhyming, i believe takes the philosophical idea away

    well, i must say, superb job. You've ben here quite a while, and i'd like to ask you, don't they ahev contests here??

    Great job!