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Blind-Ambition

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  • on Christmas by Ray Von, on September 23, 2005
    I thought this was clever. The last two lines were particularly effective.
    I laughed at the image of Santa in a pink thong. Where did you come up with this?
    The rhythm sounds a little forced in some parts (lines 9-15 come to mind) but this is a very good piece. Thanks for sharing, I hope to read more of your work.
    Also, thank you very much for your comments on my poem. I really appreciate them.

    . Rewarded 1

  • on Sing in the Shower by lavender shadows, on September 14, 2005
    I think you expressed yourself very well. I especially loved the second stanze. Those verses say it all.
    One thing I did noticed was in line 12, rejoice is in the present tense, while the rest of the stanza is in the past.

    I liked the ending too. Best of luck with everything. Good write.

    . Rewarded 4