- Last seen on Dec 22 7:23 AM 2008. Member since May 9, 2006.
- I am a 27 year old man from Kansas (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm Phlebotomy Specialist.
- Visit my homepage at profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=50882246
- I have 89 comments, 6 archived poems
My Poetry
-
89 words, 16 comments, April 12, 2007. In Free verse, Personal
-
212 words, 15 comments, May 10, 2006
-
220 words, 24 comments, May 10, 2006
Guest Book
Comments
1 - 2 of 89
Show all
-
-
on i just cant change the way i feel by rhianon, on August 7, 2008
Not bad
Your feelings are quite clear and the words you used in your rhyming scheme was interesting. There is a problem with the rhythm especially at the beginning and end. It can be hard to get your emotions across without loosing the pace. I know, I'm guilty of that all the time.
Still it is a good piece and I'm interested in seeing more of your work.
Take care,
--Josh


Well done
You summed up your feelings amazingly in these simple yet powerful lines. I recalled a lot of pain from my youth reading this piece. Trust me when I say it does get better.Still this is an impressive piece.
--Josh