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Captain Dot

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  • on So much time but only one blade left by Foiled, on August 7, 2008

    Well done

    You summed up your feelings amazingly in these simple yet powerful lines. I recalled a lot of pain from my youth reading this piece. Trust me when I say it does get better.

    Still this is an impressive piece.



    --Josh

  • on i just cant change the way i feel by rhianon, on August 7, 2008

    Not bad

    Your feelings are quite clear and the words you used in your rhyming scheme was interesting. There is a problem with the rhythm especially at the beginning and end. It can be hard to get your emotions across without loosing the pace. I know, I'm guilty of that all the time.

    Still it is a good piece and I'm interested in seeing more of your work.

    Take care,



    --Josh