- Last seen on Nov 18 5:52 PM 2007. Member since July 21, 2006.
- I am a 18 year old man (Canada)
- I have 1 comment, 1 archived poem
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- A Beautiful Maze at storywrite
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- THE LAST MANIFESTO at storywrite
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Good
It is pretty good but I agree with Lad stretching out the middle might be a nice idea(though some of the single word repetition might be unneeded still spread it out with periods and possibly splitting the last line of the second stanza) . Maybe spread the line "tick--tick-tick" out with periods that might be a good idea and add a sense of finality. Though even with out these minor changes I must say is it pretty good..... Rewarded 8