- Last seen on Apr 18 3:25 AM 2008. Member since August 8, 2005.
- I am a man (Great Britain)
- When I'm not writing, I'm Security Officer.
- I have 14 comments, 6 archived poems
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on My God, this world, what is it? by Amrita, on January 24, 2006
LIked It
Firstly before I comment further, I also think using 'coz' is allowed. It may be colloquial, but poetry is spoken word and such things should be allowed. IF WE USE IT IN SPEECH, WHY NOT IN POETRY. Otherwise, I like the way you look at both positive and negatives that exist in our world and the way you seem to be openly reasoning with your own mind. I would be happy to say I wrote a piece like this. All poetry is basically personal, it is about how you feel and what you want to say. Writing it ti please others is a compromise. If it breaks the rules then that is alright because you said what you have wished to in your way.. Rewarded 4
Thank You
I was simply trying to be ambiguous all they way through the write, without pointing fingers. Hence the apostrophe on "Minds'". Point taken on the extra word. Was trying to keep the rhythm, but re-reading back, the flow remains with the extra word, so many thanks for an excellent crtitique and your kind comments.