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Gary Alexander

  • Last seen on Jul 22 9:55 PM 2007. Member since July 22, 2007.
  • I am a 67 year old person
  • I have 1 comment

My other items

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  • Shipwreck at storywrite
    What happens when the bounds of Time and Space are exceeded and broken?
  • Stentor at storywrite
    Not really my bag...but since so many here seem to be enamored of it....
  • Deja Vu Deja Vu at storywrite
    DÉJÀ VU DEJA VU1

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  • on Through the Penumbra by six of diamonds, on July 22, 2007
    I love the music of this. You did a fine job.
    I would lose one of your "into" before "that final cold of night" use "of" instead.
    I'd lose "now" (I must construct)
    Is "light" a verb? or is it Soul's light?
    I'm not sure how important to you is the series of "I" words in the "I endure" stanza. Seems a bit forced. Unnecessary.
    "Warn?"
    I hear: I pray you hear me AND use my light to cast etc.
    Finally: ...and hope you awake to your own etc.
    (I'd lose THAT and the EN of awaken.) (And shouldn't there be a comma after "salvation?"

    Lovely poem. Great sound.