- Last seen on Jul 6 5:53 PM 2007. Member since August 5, 2005.
- I am a man from California (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm Student / Computer Engineer.
- I have 4 comments, 1 archived poem
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- Untitled #13 at allpoetry
. - Wip #Q at allpoetry
NOT FINISHED!!!
------------------------------------------- - Written in a Fever at allpoetry
give me a moment of madness a delirious dream deferred
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Oops, I’m a dunce, eh. I made a bunch of 8 syllable lines. Guess I mis-counted, sorry.
Wow...
Now that’s what I call a critique!! Thank you for your thoughtful insight. To answer your question, the original idea I had was just to describe the tree, and I liked the idea of contrasting the idea that I saw it “once” with all the different ways I had seen it over time. Then I got the idea for the end, showing that I thought nothing of it and then asking if the tree saw me. The rest of it, the descriptions that is, just kinda flowed. It was one of the few poems I’ve written where I didn’t have to stop and think for a long time about any particular line. As for putting in the periods, I’ll conisder it. I’m not a fan of using correct grammer/punctuation just because it’s the “right way” to do something, and I think here the periods would break up the flow just a tad more than I want. I’ll try putting them in and see how it looks.Thanks again for the wonderfull review!!!