- Last seen on Aug 25 5:49 AM. Member since September 2, 2005.
- I am a guy (Great Britain)
- When I'm not writing, I'm Student.
- I have 246 comments, 21 archived poems
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on For a Friend by Iorek, on February 3Mm, well part of the point of the first line is that the metre is delibeately screwed up. Technically one could argue that it's a deminine line which is missing two of it's syllables in order to emphasise the commanding "Fall". But that's probably my academic mind being to pretentious.
I did re-write the second line last week and thought it was much improved as a result, but I jotted it down on a scrap of paper somewhere in my room, so I'll change the online version as soon as the piece of paper surfaces again. lol
Third line, I take your point, and shall think about it.
As for a rhyming couplet to end, that's only to a certain kind of traditionalist. There are plenty of traditional "sonnet" forms which do not include a rhyming ending couplet, lol. But... a strict sonnet was never really my intention anyway.
Thank you for the comments, I'll return the favour when I ahve a spare moment,
Chris


Oddly, this one just ended up at 14 lines. And I went "Oh, that was fitting." But I didn't set out to write a sonnet, and so I certainly didnt think I should go back and go make it fit sonnet rules.
Every one loves pedantry though...