- Last seen on Dec 22 10:28 PM 2008. Member since August 7, 2005.
- I am a 24 year old guy from Arizona (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm Student.
- Visit my homepage at www.darkphyre024.deviantart.com
- I have 9 comments
My Poetry
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- Let Me Be at allpoetry
Your judgments always stand pending, awaiting their release,
searching for a victim, never met with peace. - Dive Right In at allpoetry
so I give in to the strong currents
that pull me down to the ocean floor - Random Thoughts at allpoetry
It was an odd feeling. To see yourself outside of your body. Watching everything you do, as if looking on from someone else's eyes. But I found myself doing it alot. I'm not sure if it was because I was afraid I'd make a fool
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on The Game of Love by painterofwords, on August 15, 2007
Interesting
I have to agree with Lad with his statement in regards to the steady beat hidden within this poetic rhyming prose. I started reading this having already mentally given this piece a judgement based on it's cover, as I'm used to reading poetry with short lines, mirrored with rhythm and beat....
However after giving your write a read, I was surprised by how much it flowed, and kept up a beat throughout. I had to re-read it to give myself the chance to fully appreciate what you've written, this was only because I've grown accustomed to reading the kind of poetry I normally write. But this gave me the chance to take a step back and find a familiar tone, of growing weary from searching for love, in a nice 'restyled' kind of way .. at least for me.
I especially like how you've tied in things like window shopping and losing repeatedly everything you've given in hopes of winning what you desire... Pretty clever there =)
And the last line is probably my favorite of the whole write,
"So I keep unscrewing the caps and pulling back the labels, I guess wishing is what keeps me stable."
that's a very strong statement, and true for so many people. very well written, hehe now I can't get that last line outta my head...
. Rewarded 8
re: Hurt by perceptions
Thank you for the wonderfully expressive comment on Let Me Be =)After reading it quite a few times I felt your suggestion was something I would take up, and as of now the F word has been removed .. thank you much =)
at first I had it in there when writing it to force the tone of anger I was expressing, but honestly, anger flowed throughout and needed no help by vulgarity.. =)
much appreciated