- Last seen on Jul 12 1:02 PM 2008. Member since August 5, 2005.
- I am a woman (United States)
- I have 50 comments, 5 archived poems
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- Left Behind at allpoetry
You are gone, and I,
disconsolate, am left here - I Exist at allpoetry
I exist, yet I
exist again some elsewhere -- - The Ballad of Private John at allpoetry
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on Beaten by Lilac Moon, on October 10, 2005Hey Ed-in-Chimp! Thank you for your comments. You are absolutely right in that this poem is not big on substance. It really was just lightly playing with the phrase and the idea of a traitorous heart. A slave to the device, I was. (Writing like Yoda, I am…)
I do need to step up to the plate with these word games I play and provide stronger content.
I have never had a problem reading this piece out loud, but maybe that’s because I wrote it.
Thanks again,
Lilac Moon
If you’d like to show it to your English teacher, that’s fine. You might show him or her the other comments people made. Would be interesting to hear what the teacher has to say!
Thanks again for reading and taking the time to comment.
Lilac Moon