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Lord Gegishov

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  • on Hymn of the Garbageman by ricochet rabbit, on August 8, 2005
    (I posted this on AP, but felt it more appropriate on this site.)

    In your bio. info. on your author’s page you write how you want to create something immortal. Now I am no expert in such matters, but perhaps I can offer some advice: write of immortal things! Of the human spirit, of emotions, of the divine, of laughter, heartache: those things people two thousand years from now will still be able to identify with, and admire. In brief, write from the heart and soul, and not from the eyes; for the heart and soul are themelves immortal entities immured within a mortal container. If a rainy day moves you to pensiveness or tears, write of it as the feeling comes to you, and that moment will be consecrated and consolidated in words of your own: they will become immortal, even if only for your sake. The garbage man is a fleeting thing, the profession that is. If you are going to write of the man, you must try to understand him, and be patient with it, for the heart takes time to cultivate, grow, become scared, healed, robust, and weak. It does not occur within a glimpse. Become immortal by writing from an immortal source. That is my advice! Disregard the senses as primary source materials; let them be your flashlight, headset, and aroma identifier; use your inner being to collect those sights, sounds, and fragrances, and patiently, steadily, create. Be well and take care, dear Writer!

    . Rewarded 1

  • on Angel Tears by whiteshadowofnej, on August 8, 2005

    Umm...

    I’m not sure what to make of the idea of this poem, so will move first to technical things.

    First, I can conceive of nothing more annoying and painful than forced rhyme that makes itself noticeable at first site, as Sir William Bradley noticed Septimus Warren Smith’s illness within the first few minutes of spotting him. For your credit, this poem has none of that. I did not even know it had a rhyme scheme until midway through, and for me that was grand! Technically, this poem is quite good. There is puntuality that makes your message all the more clearer, and that I appreciate. In all, the structure and such is good!

    Now for the idea. I will have to summon my knowledge of Christianity and put myself in the shows of a Chrisitian, for I fear I am not one, and have not he same views as you do. I imagin a Chrisitian would applaud the idea of this poem without any hesitation; but then again, some people are inclined to agree things without considering them in depth. I think you take the easy route. YOu present problems, pass them off to Satan, and leave off, an angel left crying! Dear heavens, the world is not so simplistic! In the 19th century, four out of five thieveries in London were due to hunger and starvation. Who is teh villain? Who is to blame? The man who runs from CVS wiht a bag of diapers; the fact that wealth and income are not fairly distributed; or the diaper manufacturere and store who sell products at a much higher price than what it cost to make them, becuase of the name attached? Even I can not answer that. In the world there is suffering. People do what they can to survive and be less miserable. My suggestion for this piece is that you reconsider your subject and think profoundly about it.

    . Rewarded 4