- Last seen on Jul 27 10:20 AM 2008. Member since August 6, 2005.
- I am a woman (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm Self Employed- Hauling business.
- I have 55 comments, 8 archived poems
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- Loneliness at allpoetry
Sweet solace of despair, the grief is flowing
in waves across the passages of time. - Sonnet In Time at allpoetry
Mortality is pressing on my soul
unmerciful, he melts the sky away - Fragments at allpoetry
I once beheld the Treasure as a whole,
unchanging, save the tiny lines of time
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on Saving my Skin by Philogos, on December 10, 2005I had a feeling that the iambs were being manipulated because they are near perfect as a whole, but since the variation did not seem to add impact with the stress placement I was still unsure enough to call it.
You are right, when meter is manipulated well it improves the sonnet. Perfect iambic meter can be dry. But my thought was that you took away from your statement by putting a lesser stress on 'try'. Just my own perception.
In any case, a skillfully done sonnet.

No critique to offer but much enjoyed this sonnet.
. Rewarded 1