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Papyrus• Show poetry



Hello, I am an unpublished poet from the Midwest.




www.jacksonpollock.org
www.playlist.com
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My other items

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  • Dandelions: Scenes 1,2 & 4 at storywrite
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  • Column: China Earthquake at sharepoetry
    an Earthquake occurred in China on Monday, and the death toll is idk, maybe 50,000.

    it knocked down a lot of school buildings full of children.

    both Windhover and i wrote a poem about it, tho hers is much more impacting.

    also
  • Monday at storywrite
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Guest Book

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  • Theophilus on October 8, 2009
    hey so your writing is awesome. its got a slow easy kinda stride to it but interesting characters and stories that make you feel like home.

    thats all. i just liked what you have up so far. sorry for not being in a very deep or critiquing mood but i wouldnt change a thing about your stories anyway so nothing to critique. so, um, keep writing please?
  • Philos. on July 29, 2009
    I'll let you guess and not tell you whether you're hot or cold.
  • Sachiro k-Saruto : hmmm since u r on my guestbook on May 16, 2008
    i'll just return the favor....i think that i'm being way too annoying today, but at least i'm trying to be nice....i guess. anywayz, have fun writing poetry. i think that i'll be more annoying and make really long comments on each of you poems....i might be reading for a while *cough*...
  • B L Cook : Nice Page! on February 4, 2008
    Hey, Papyrus!

    Thanks for writing in my GuestBook. I'm still very new here (and slightly lost), but I think I'm gonna be able to get around. I'll take a look at what you have here (from what I've read from others, it looks like it'll be worth the time).

    ~Brian~

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Comments

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  • on things I could show you by Papyrus, on April 21

    err, practical

    Saltaire,
    I'm more conventional that I think. actually, I think conventional the goal.
    maybe you don't feel the poem is finished because of the disrupted rhyme scheme at the end, if you can call it a "scheme."
    the rhyme switches from an "oil" pattern (soil, toil) to an "ade" pattern (shade blade). this makes you want to read another "ade" rhyme at the end. but instead the ending switches back to "oil."
    I admit it's a bit awkward on first read. But I like the overall image of the ending.
    Maybe a second read will tie the ending up for you.
    — Pap
    p.s. I'm loving your photo.

  • on things I could show you by Papyrus, on April 21

    smarty pants

    right, but you've got 14 years on me, PorkandBeans.
    and I doubt can you whistle like a whippoorwill.
    not many people can.
    no, this is not a completely accurate accounting of my knowledge.
    there are some claims in here I can't substantiate (but I won't tell you which ones; some are obvious).
    I wrote this poem out of a mix of feelings.
    I was infatuated with someone, while contemplating who I am and what I've done. out of these thoughts come flashes of my life in the poem, revealing my nature and hinting at my faith.
    Honestly, I'm not sure what it all means jut yet and it's not really to any one person. I'm glad you sensed an "air of humility."
    thanks,
    Pap