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Renji

Writing gives me peace of mind sometimes, or in those certain scenarios, furthers my frustration as my own mind seems to get the better of me.


I'm young, I know. But give my writings a glance, and I am sure you will not be dissapointed. I've been at this for quite a few years, and understand most teen poetry is simply odious, but I will leave you with a silent promise that my poetry is worth your time.

  • Last seen 2 days ago. Member since August 4, 2007.
  • My mood is , and quote is "My mind. My world. My creation. My burden.".
  • I am a 18 year old guy from Michigan (United States)
  • When I'm not writing, I'm Thinking, and then using those thoughts for writing..
  • Visit my homepage at www.myspace.com/deprivedofmyconsience
  • I have 98 comments, 32 archived poems

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  • on Hitlers last love by killerfatmonkey, on October 17

    The average..

    teenage literature is revolting. No feeling is expressed throughout the entire poem in most cases. You've managed to bring out a creativeness that shows you have the spark for writing, but your skills are dull and need to be honed a bit. This little write of yours needs quite a bit of work, so I will sum it up for you.

    Cliches. I cannot stress enough the extent of ruin only a few cliches can cause in a poem.
    'priceless gem' 'stars that once...'

    This poem doesn't sound real, doesn't sound like it's coming from you, in all honesty.

    The words are tight-fitted. They sound forced to rhyme and unnatural.

    The one thing I will give to you is that you DO have the spark for writing and will be able to develop it over time or even at a rapid pace, it is different for each and every poet. I've noticed you write in a sort of "Old Style," as your wording suggests. The last line of this write is the best, and it shows you stand above the average teenage literature by that much. Develop it, and you may be one of the best poets of your time.

    Kudos,
    Renji

  • on Love Poem by dave ochs, on May 11

    As always..

    I enjoy your first-hand experiences and commical jests tied quite nicely within your unique format. Another example of you just being you, and no one ever changing it. Changes? This does not need changes. It needs to be placed on a Hallmark card, beneath a camera in the nearest Rite Aid so we can all see the looks on the faces of those who expect the usual, and quite often cliche'd, "Love Poem." A fun read for me, dave, and well worth the time.

    Keep on keeping on,
    Renji.

    . Rewarded 8