I travel, think, then write.
- Member since June 16, 2006.
- I am a woman from Washington (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm a Truck Driver.
- Visit my homepage at sharepoetry.com/archive/list/SoleCarryOn
- I have 177 comments, 23 archived poems
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SoleCarryOn : Lament of the Unanswered Comment on March 10, 2007I leave a comment,
then I lament
that I ever
cared to share
my written word
on empty air.
No response.
No answer
is like a cancer,
eating up
the empty air
making me wish
I’d never shared.
I think there is a word for it
as for the snub?
I’m undeterred by it.
Except to write
this crappy poem.
Now please comment
when I write my own.
The End.
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SoleCarryOn : My Archived Poems on March 10, 2007http://sharepoetry.com/archive/list/SoleCarryOn
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on untitled by , on June 13, 2007I rather enjoyed this. This is a well written capture of one of those odd vagaries one embarks upon when overwhelmed by sensory overload. I also detect some envy as you might wish to fill your pad with such things, yet you wile away such desire by convincing yourself the ascetic. Self deprivation is an easy way to feel happy about being without was the unspoken undertone I read into this as I sensed in you an undercurrent of desire for such things. Imagine an Amish man watching TV through a shop window, that is the visual I received. Did you intend it?
I really enjoyed this. It was very witty and very clear in emoting your thoughts on materialism, and maybe even some of your hidden thoughts, I felt. Nice job.-Sole
p.s. I like the bit about the silver-ware sets. You have managed to take a trip to the store and turn it into a social commentary on how easily we are swooned into materialism by such catch-phrase advertising. You illustrate well the point that life is no longer about who we are inside, but about what we have outside. Recently I saw an advertisement for Harley-Davidson that read "I believe that what I ride can tell the world where I stand". I immediately had to laugh at all of the yuppies that I am certain will lap that up, hurrying out the door to get their tattoo and official bad-ass proclamatory scooters. Fresh leather chaps all-around...look out!
Oldsmoke...this was very good and I enjoyed it immensely.
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
My temples don't bulge, but neither do rashes in inopportune locations. So I think it's a fair trade. I think that life is like water, it seeks it's own level and when it's all said and done, we all suffer the same. Sure, I may not currently have a sexual outlet to soothe frustration, but I feel my frustrations are much less by nature of my decision. I never have to feel cheap because I didn't get a call back. I think it's a little something called hmmmmm...., what's that word? Oh, yes...respect. I never have to worry if I will respect myself in the morning, because I will only ever indulge in such with someone I know from long experience already respects and loves me.
Good as always, dave. I have nothing to say poetically, as you always entertain me and that's tops in my book. Yes, I did identify a bit with this, but I still wouldn't trade my ache for anothers.
Please excuse my tone, but you made me feel like wagging my finger. Or maybe my temples are bulging a little...-Sole
P.s. I did feel a little offended by your characterization of religious people as fakers. I know some very good people that hold strongly to their beliefs and live them both body and spirit. Though I don't align with all of their beliefs, these people inspire me and I know them to be genuine and good people. So I was a bit taken back by your swipe at religious people in general. There are real people out there who live what they believe. I felt your view rather narrow and cynical in this respect, which is probably why I wrote this long reply that had nothing to do with the technical merit of this poem.