Smooth and slender, gracefully curved,
Powerfully gentle, fiercely soothing,
Their touch is a light coating of butter,
Yet each is individual, firm – like a bean,
They are agile and accurate, swift and acrobatic,
Their skills channel something greater,
Architects, painters, engineers, decorators,
Working together to create a masterpiece.
They are beautiful, to be treasured
Oh what I wouldn't give, for a set
Of pianist's fingers.
Constructive Criticism is Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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the title is too good
I just couldn't fiure out what you were driving at till the last line..the ending was really good..has the reader captivated till the end trying to guess what you are describing..
nice poem..
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 4.
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thanks! that was just what i was trying to achieve with this poem
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fantastic
i didn't know where you where going with this, but then with one resounding last note the whole thing came together and gave me a epiphany.
dave -
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thanks dave, I'm glad you got that epiphany. to me, that was the point of the poem.
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Nice!
This made me chuckle. I really wasn't expecting the ending, and I wasn't expecting it to relate to me as it did.
Yes, a pianist's fingers are all of the things you mentioned above. I'll say that it's more than just the fingers that control technique, but your statement here is definitely true. They definitely channel something greater, and that's the most important thing. They channel music.
I really enjoyed this. I have no complaints. It's a great poem. Bravo!
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thanks piano guy - I'm glad that you can relate to this poem!
nish(81)
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I should say that the title captures alot. I mean some of the pieces, either by mozartor beethoven makes me wonder how ten fingers can play all that. I mean i did learn to play the piano (never did pursue it) how your fingers have to stretch and play all those chords eludes me. Hence the way you describe it as agile and accurate, swift and acrobatic is perfect.
The lines are tight, the description as well. Obviously, you are a pianist to be able to describe the experience, the art of playing the way that you have.
To this day, i am amazed at how ten fingers can convey so much music and cover the keys in the piano.
quite a poem, you have here.
-iphios -
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hey iphios
Thanks a lot for the comment. It's nice to see another pianist on this website! I'm glad that you also were caught by my description of a pianist's fingers!
nish81
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Oh, PS...
I hate to be nosy and a hopeless know-it-all, but an alternative title did strike me, and I'd like to share it, if only because that rarely ever happens to me. "Ten Sound One Hundred" although of course looking at it now, it's a little bit strange. Anyway..
Nienna -
Nice!
I've been told I have pianist's fingers, but they can do nothing except play violin. Nonetheless, I know how you feel, I love the way you bring it all together at the end. The first 8 or so lines had me really intrigued; I wanted to know what it was you were talking about. Line 7 still has me a little bit confused, but I'm sure that's not the poem's fault, just didn't read it carefully enough. I too long for real pianist's fingers...nice line. Great job.
Nienna
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Thanks for taking the time to comment on my poem!
Your alternative title did seem a bit strange to me at first sight, but I get it now - it does seem like it fits the poem well!
Nish
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Hi there... Just got curious by the amount of activity from you in the past hour. So thought of reading some of ur poems... This one is quite good. Nice description. But maybe you could try losing the verbs and see how it reads... like
Their touch, a coating of butter
Yet each unique, and firm, like a bean.
I normally prefer just adjectives in descriptions. Up to. Your choice really.
Well written.
Cheers. -
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Thanks for your comment!
I appreciate the suggestion. It's actually a different style of writing, thanks for showing me that!
Nish(81)
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Excellent!
This is the first I have reviewed of yours and I applaud the way in which you've tackled this. I play piano - self-taught - as a result, my right hand is as masterful as you describe, yet my left hand remains a bit of a stump! I'm right-handed y'see and suffer as many self-taught pianists do, from not training the other hand as much as I should!
So yes - I can relate to the last two lines very well indeed:
"Oh what I wouldn't give, for a set
Of pianist's fingers."
Great stuff!
The poem as a whole is wonderfully descriptive, yet utilises only 77 words. There's no waste here, each word is deserving of inclusion and as a whole, it works perfectly.
Mart
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Thanks!
It's great to hear that you liked every line of this poem, because I focused a lot on each line of it!
It's also nice to meet a fellow pianist. I don't know what level you're at, but I have some 'technique-building' exercise-pieces by a composer named Czerny. If you like I could find some way to get copies of them to you? They might help with your left hand.
Nish -
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That's very kind of you....
...but being self-taught, I don't do levels! I compose mainly, or used to years ago and taught myself by playing along with favourite pieces of rock and classical too; from Keith Emerson and Rick Wakeman to Sergei Rachmaninoff and Claude Debussy.
I'm a little to old now to take it further and rarely afford myself the time to play, which is a shame in a way.
M
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I like every finger of this...
...this finely crafted ode to piano players. I am one, so I take to this lovely poem like fingertips to a keyboard.
The exact rhymes are natural and easy; but, my favorites, the slanted rhymes are even more delightful: touch/coating; touch/each; each/bean; accurate/acrobatic; agile/channel; decorators/masterpiece; give/fingers; and so many more.
And "like a bean" is a pleasant surprise.
I read this aloud twice to savor the sounds. And you built the poem with skill, starting and ending with the same image only different, the middle extravagantly fourished. And all lines in musical quatrameter beats, except for the perfect last line in two.
Wonderful poem, nish. I'll be visiting your others soon.
Ciao.
Lad
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Thanks a lot!
Thanks for your great comment! I really appreciate it when people take the time to properly read a poem. I'm glad you noticed the slanted rhymes and the 'like a bean' line - I included both of those purposefully.
Actually, the simile "like a bean" was inspired by my old piano teacher. She was Russian and didn't speak English naturally, so she would sometimes come up with wonderful similes to help me understand what she meant. One of these was "each finger is a bean, each note is a bean" - the line comes from that.
Thanks again!
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