Mindless soldiers
protects humanity
against dangerous thoughts.
Freedom is the enemy
and their solid precission
works...
Please tell me what you think
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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oooh, with a little bit of editing, this could become a very powerful haiku!
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Thanx
This poem as you should know it is inspired on tv character Dr House(hugh laurie)and is so very special right now, because after I ve bored everyone I know talking about Dr House and how inteligent show it is and how special is the personage and how charming and lovely is the actor...he got some awards for his acting and that made me so happy that I ve decided to restore the poem again(writen almost a year ago)And WHAt makes me really happy is to see that other persons think as I do and that the kind comments about this poem.Do me a favour, watch Dr House all around the world and remind THAT BEING TRUE IS THE MOST WE CAN EXPECT FROM OTHER PERSON .thanks so much LAD. -
Sorry...
OHOH the prevous message should be delivered to Lad....Well it is mi fingers who disturb (HOuse effect)I appreciate your comment about Mindless Soldier.I was not thinking about a hayku this time...But if it sounds like this best I do not complain...Thanks again. -
Sorry...
OHOH the prevous message should be delivered to Lad....Well it is mi fingers who disturb (HOuse effect)I appreciate your comment about Mindless Soldier.I was not thinking about a hayku this time...But if it sounds like this best I do not complain...Thanks again.
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Hi - nice poem here, just wondering if "protects" in the second line shouldn't be "protect"? (considering 'soldiers' is plural).
I found your fourth line powerful, 'freedom is the enemy' - a simple bold statement, nothing powerful to cover it up.
your ellipsis at the end was also effective, the 'works...' leaving the mind to think about the consequences of this, a sense of foreboding arising
good job!
nish(81)
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to nish
Thanks on your comment and your correction to spelling mistakes.Hope you will check out my Mr Sarcasm, recently restore from Archieve.
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Hey,
I hate to read a poem and not comment. Most people just coward away and not comment on a poem they don’t understand to avoid embarrassment. Sorry, but I don’t get this one. The first stanza seems to have nothing to do with the second. I just don’t get it.
Please reply explaining the poem. Maybe I’m just thick and don’t understand the sublime in this one.
Bill
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The sublime
I dont know if trher is sublimeness or not.It is quite simple,There are people who fight against freedom since humanity exists and they seem to be worried about new thoughts.
Anything sublime you beg... -
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Hey,
I missed the obvious in this one for some reason. But now it makes sense after your explanation. Thanks again.
Bill
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This is nice... I agree with one of the comments below that "protects" should be "protect," and I might add that precision has one 's'. Those are the only two real mistakes I see in the whole poem, so it's not badly written at all.
Your message is powerful, and you mince no words. The meaning is clear. I like that in poetry. While there are many great poems that cover the message with metaphors and examples, there are also some great poems that just come right out with it and say what they mean. This is one of them. It's not only easier to understand, but it's actually harder to write GOOD poetry that states its message clearly and without a lot of dancing around the point.
Great job! -
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I am glad
I am glad you like it.Something can be said only such way. -
Thans on your kind comment.-
Well tahnks on your comment.I notice my spelling mistakes and trying to arrange.Sometimes is a matter of typing, believe it or not.
Thanks again for being true.
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Just a few corrections first...
-line two should be "protect" instead of "protects"
-line five should be "precision" with one s.
That said, I like the clarity and simple pointedness of this. Drones, taught to be the mindless servants of totalitarian rule, are the enablers of oppression.
Al
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Thax Al
Thax on your comment and corrections...
I am getting worst at English!!!
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Keaton Banks
February 22, 2007