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No More Pain, No More Feelings

Feelings are confused,
Best to lock them up,
Swallow the key and

Choke to death.

Author notes

A very quick and short poem.

Anything at all!

    : Comment:

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • celestialpie
    February 6, 2007

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    Nasty, brutish, and short

    Not that that's a bad thing in this case. The brevity gives this poem an in-your-face quality that lengthier poems tend to lack. Plus, the visceral scenario of first swallowing a hard piece of metal and choking on it makes this poem memorable.

    Pie

    language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 5, form: 5.


    • nish81
      February 7, 2007
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      Thanks for the comment. I like the way you saw the choking on the piece of metal in your head, sometimes it's hard for shorter poems to project good images.

      Glad you like it!

      nish*81*


  • madhu
    January 29, 2007
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    yes... but let them go to heaven!!!!

  • Nienna Colle
    January 27, 2007

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    Another formatting thing for me. Maybe a semicolon in the first line, that would really help the pause...but not stop there. Good shortness! (I talk pretty lol).

    Nienna


    • nish81
      January 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Great suggestion, if it wasn't for my policy of no-editing then I'd change it to a semicolon.

      Thanks for another nice comment,

      Nish(81)

1 - 6 of 6