Yellow, so bright as to be white
Light is cast about the room,
It doesn't discriminate -
Polished black floor,
White-washed walls, warm
Brown sculptures. All lit,
He enters, brings guests.
A swarm of fashion accessories,
Reflective sunglasses, damaged
Jeans. Or not damaged, styled.
Like vultures they descend,
Battering the sculptures with praise.
The light shines.
Does the poem 'work'?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very nice!! I love art but rarely write or see poems about it, and even more rarely about exhibitions. In the first stanza, I visualize a very modern gallery and that is enhanced by the description of the guests wearing jeans bought for $100 already ripped. Good job.
S
language: 3, rhythm: 2, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 3.
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Thanks for the comment Sammy - I'm glad you liked that bit about the jeans
nish[81]
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Very original
Nish, I've never seen a poem address this subject-- sure, there are poems that refer to a particular piece or an artist, but rarely a poem about an exhibition.
I like what Lad said about this being high style and pointed. You raise some interesting questions with your critical eye-- art exists to be viewed, but what does it lose in the process of being viewed?
Perhaps I am interpreting it incorrectly, but I feel that the light at the beginning of the poem, which does not discriminate, is in contrast to the "swarm of fashion accessories," (playful but cruel!) who come to heap their discrimanting eyes on the sculpture.
Excellent write.
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Thanks cpie, for the bunch of comments!
I'm glad this poem came out the way you did. And you're interpreting it perfectly right, although I never contrast the light and the 'swarm of fashion accessories', there is a contrast through the indiscrimination versus the discrimination.
Thanks,
nish{81}
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You judge--
Does the poem work?
Depends on who reads.
The study in contrasts
attracts the artist's eye,
a lamp to light the way
Warm comfort, quiet.
The silence, the peace
for the exhausted, lasts
in blessed relaxation--
until suddenly disrupted:
unannounced, loud men
come, their disrespect
like thoughtless tourists
invasive in their sense
of entitled impertinence
as ersatz connoisseurs,
passing judgment with
nose-high evaluations
pretending their words
quoted from tony books
apply, only to have their
ignorant-displaced praise,
devalue what they view.
And unblinking, the light,
unjudgmental shines.
Art galleries get their share of this, the owner gallantly retaining hospitable smile in the unlikely event of a purchase as the sculptor shudders.
Now my turn to ask: does this impression work?
I like the contrast of peace and disruption at the beginning, setting the scene without telling where or what it is. It lets impressions of the location and events grow. Sometimes a little is enough.
"Like vultures they descend,
Battering the sculptures with praise."
is particularly fine!
Terry
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Thanks for the comment Terry!
What I particularly liked in your impression was the way you described the 'disrespect' of the 'thoughtless tourists' towards the sculptures and work. The way you wrote it made it seem so scathing, much better than I did.
Thanks for your comment again, I'll be reading a few of yours soon.
Nish[81]
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Works for me.
nish, this is high style, sheer and pointed. And a fine poem for my reading.
Almost hypnotic, the scene as you image it - the exhibition of sculptures "warm" "brown." And the air - such a bright yellow "as to be white" - deft coloring in so few words.
Then enter the classy ones, the sleek, the fashionable and ruin it all with their "battering...praise." I can just see you turning away from them after taking them into your eyes - and turning back to the real works of art.
Fine writing, nish. Sharply atmospheric.
Lad
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Thanks for the comment, I actually found this poem to be better writing than I can normally achieve. A copmliment from you is high praise indeed!
Nish
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