why?

i wonder am i not complete?
or is it just something else you seek?
am i not everything you have wished for?
i believed i was and we would be so much more

is there something that i am just missing?
or have i been doing too much wishing?
to have what i want and feel i need
to finally spread these shattered wings and be free'd

why is this the way when i need so much more?
all because the devil gods above have decided so
to cut and slash at our bruised, bleeding souls
so that they can be content with reaching thier goals

why must i always be the one who's heart falls on the floor?
why must my face always feel that slamming door?
feeling like i am in a box trying to think what to do
so many uncertainties what actually is true?

this never ending battle between good and bad
feeling so lonely and helpless which is really making me mad
what the hell is so bloody wrong with me?
i wish i could believe in what you all say you see

but i don't and i probably will never believe
so a true love i wont have and my dreams and wishes i won't recieve
banished to an everlasting, stormy dessert for the one's that don't have love
awaiting my time to have serious words with the big man above

i have never done any wrong and i have tried to be nice to everyone i know
so why do i get this end of the stick that god decided to throw?
people in this world that get most things that they want
my body collapses as i feel this shattering shunt

my eyes begine to roll and i fall asleep
gathered unconsiously on the floor in a heep
no piont in dreaming as they begin to poisen my mind
no point in wishing as happiness i won't find

just plodding on taking a day at a time
why do i feel like my beathing is such a crime?
i feel like i am messed up and all wrong
i have no sense of directing and i don't know were i belong

so i will just sit here in this black box i have built
trying to get rid of bad thoughts and erase this overwhelming feeling of guilt