kindra

the darkness envelops me
the sense of death
the anger and sadness
they all flow through me
i feel so weak
yet the sensations are so strong
strong enough to make me scream
i cry out
"why, god, why?"
while standing next to her grave
she didn't need to die
i should have saved her
my blame and anger are towards myself
how could i have let this happen
memories of that night overtake me
make me fall to the ground
sobbing
i take my knife
wondering what would happen if i did this
"no one cares
just another grave"
my wrists are so smooth
i slice them with a fury never known
smiling i say
"god forgive me
i just want to be with her
not to have the blame
not to go on without her"
still sobbing i lay
next to the fresh dirt
slowly passing into unconsciousness
"i love you sis"
are the last words from my mouth
before i pass on
to be with the one i let die
this is my reward