Neverending trail,
Hunters, we march through the Night
live for dark allure.
Author notes
A senryu
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well-knit
That was a refreshing write! Liked it to the core.
Have checked the comments below, so, nothing saying about that!
What struck me first was the interpretation giving by William. The straight way, but urs is really deep.
Thanks for sharing such a delightful work of urs!
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Thanks for the comment
smart of you to check the comments first
glad you enjoyed it
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We who seek at night
We always want something or other from life which is a sort of night for us since we never can visualise what is in store for us.Still we persist,for the hunter's blood is in us-to search for the obscure-never ending trail indeed!
What i like best was the last stanza,pregnant with deep meaning-'live for dark allure' Beautiful!
Nuggehalli Pankaja -
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I like your interpretation on the meaning of this poem. the hunters blood is in us indeed!
I'm glad you liked it
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Hey Nish,
I like concentrated poems like this. They can be interpreted in so many different ways. So, I will just type out loud and see what comes to mind here.
Hmmm...., Life is a never ending trail that we are hunting for but never find because we are stumbling in the night of our own ignorance and lust for the darkness.
.........Or, maybe it is about a couple of sewer workers? (OK, I cheated and read your comment!)
I enjoyed your poem Nish and I’m looking forward to reading your future work as well
Cheers,
Bill
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 5.
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Thanks Bill for the comment. I find i do better on concentrated poems, so I stick to them more.
Actually, your interpretation of my poem is better than the one I posted myself but for a minute I really did think you had thought of the sewer workers yourself 
thanks Bill, take care
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nice:)
senryu is fun -
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thanks I like them because they are short
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Hi, Nish! Glad to see some new stuff from you. Lad didn't leave much for me to say, aside from the fact that you came back in top form. This is one of the most interesting senryus I've ever seen-- my only problem with little poems like this is that they leave me wanting more. This felt like the opening of a really fantastic epic, but the form dictates that I must use my own imagination.
A small price, I suppose, for such a dark delight.
Cheers,
Pie
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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thanks cpie!
glad you liked it!
yeah, I probably could have continued it and made something bigger out of it, but I've figured that my best poems are the ones where I make my point in as few words as possible. once I've made my point, what's the point in writing more right?
nish(81)
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Terrifically tight...
and meaningful, as a good senryu should be. Nice, nish, I like it. The poem hooks into my bias about "night people" who I think are far more fascinating in their pursuits than day people. "dark allure" is wonderfully imaged, and yes, "neverending trail" is true. Great little poem.
I wonder if "through the Night" might be more probing, and you'd get a slant rhyme with "allure" ? Up to you entirely.
Lad
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thanks Lad!
this poem was actually inspired by seeing one of those 'night people', a sewage worker and a construction worker that were crossing the 2km bridge we have here, (that divides the city in two) at midnight. I thought about it and wrote this up..
great idea about replacing 'past' with through, never thought of that. I'll go hit edit now
nish(81)
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