When someone dies
You Cry
People say
It's okay
They say that
Becuase they didn't lose a loved one
They didn't lose a friend
They didn't lose their life
Their world
It's NOT okay
They are stolen from us
We can't take them back
They say you'll get over it
In time
But
You never will
That sadness is with you
All your life
Unless you end it
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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yeah i agree that the sadness is with you for as long as you live but the pain doesn't have to be so overwhelming that we would put a stop to our lives pemanently. i'm still working on a the death of my lala(grandpa) from 7 years ago. and it is hard but i've learned to cope with his departure from this world!!
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Honest emotions.
Ryan, I admire the brevity of this lament over a loved one's death - in some poetic hands it could have gone on with hundreds of more words, and tears.
I especially like that last line, because "it" could refer both to your own life, or, to your sadness. Hope it's the second one.
Good poem.
Lad -
You may get over your sadness, as you suggest, by ending your life. And I agree with you that is the best solution. But the problem is nobody will follow your advice, least of all by those who give such advice. You are the best example. Instead of ending your life because of sadness you are alive and kicking and writing poems! At this time of your life it is time to be cheerful. Don't be sad. Write something cheerful.
language: 4, rhythm: 2, subject: 5, tone: 3, form: 1.
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Its Moving
It's simple and it's stark. I can feel the pain behind it as this is what I have been feeling since losing my loved one. The end "unless you end it" is so true...Wishin you find comfort...Keep writing....
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This is a strong emotional write...
and I feel the immediate suffering pouring out through the words. The hurt is still so fresh. And how can anyone know what you are going through? How can anyone know how deeply your feeling of loss goes for this loved one who has left this world in which we are all just borrowing? I for one never seem to know what the right words are to say to a person who has lost a loved one. So sometimes I just say nothing with a comforting, assuring hug and I don't even know if that is right. This poem really brings out emotions of hurt ( pssst, typo: Because ) At first it seems as if the loved one has just passed, but then the lines:
They say you'll get over it
In time
But
You never will
That sadness is with you
All your life
Unless you end it
...leads me to believe that just maybe, one has been suffering this loss for a long time now. And there are so many things I want to say on that subject that can help. I have lost someone very dear to me about 14 years ago and I know, that time does indeed help to mend the pain....not that you forget...you keep the fond memories alive in your heart and "remembering" conversations through the years....our loved ones who have left their earthly body, now live on in their soul, by the Grace of God, who is Merciful...what more can I say? Maybe this is not even helping at all and I do hope with all my heart that you believe in Jesus....I do, because He put that belief in all of us at birth...it's up to us to heed to it. Ok, I probably raised a few blood levels on here with that comment, so, I will simply end this with....
A most moving poem here my friend....don't end it!...the world would miss your poetry!
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