Hope
What is your nature?
Why must you continue to die and be reborn?
You are like ancient methods of torture;
The slow drip foreshadowing insanity,
Never suffering the heart to sleep;
Silently bashing the depths of the spirit.
Unmerciful until death.
Giving no peace until the final rest
Under which your power has no reach.
Are you the result of some great evil,
Or do you exist as those you torment,
A slave to your own existence,
Forever wishing to end the flickering infinite
That destroys the hearts of so many touched by it?
The unreality of a fleeting wish holds no candle
To your forever dying and rekindling flame...
Truth is your antithesis,
But still it is your garden...
And you, Hope,
Are the ever-sealed window
That overlooks it.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hey
A very intriguing read. I like the karma-like attitude in this poem.
“The unreality of a fleeting wish holds no candle
To your forever dying and rekindling flame...”
My favorite lines.
Very nice read
Bill
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So far, this is your best, PG.
At least that's my opinion. I've rarely read a poem on hope that has the depth and cosmic tone of this one. And yet, it's not just up there in infinity; it's brought down to human level by your images of garden and heart. Really neat writing - I say that because it's a fresh look at hope, how it teases, how it flickers the infinite (great phrase there!) and can destroy hearts - those are insights into hope that are original and vivid.
Philosophical-type poems, in my book, can be just as truly poetic as more down-to-earth ones - they are "heightened language" about true things, and, as your poem implies, hope is surely one of those true things - even though it can sometimes be shut to us, like an "ever-sealed window..."
I see you've made a couple changes after W's advice -good ones. Thoughtful poem - lines 13-14 have great depth and are beautifully imaged. I can sense the labor that went into this one, a labor that's skilfully hidden under fine style.
Lad -
Interesting reflections
The poem does its title justice and to make the subject of hope depressing is no mean feat. More satisfying as a piece of philosophy than poetry perhaps, the two are ever intertwined and it was a worthy read.
Line 17 seemed redundant in the light of line 3.
Then come the best lines of the poem I think, or at least those with most potential. I love the idea of hope 'overlooking' truth . But I suspect you missed the huge potential for double-enterdre here and a great opportunity to inspire some philosophical and poetic pondering in the reader. To maximize this, I think you must clarify the meaning of 'yet' in line 19. I'm thinking you meant 'truth is your antithesis 'but still' it is your garden' ( 'you' being Hope ) . That accomplished, shouldn't Hope be an eye, or a being and not just and inanimate (and sealed) window?
Just my thoughts. I enjoyed yours. >W<
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