“A poem must mean something,” you say
“Isn’t that what it’s all about?”
Must it?
“I mean, you must be talking about someone.”
Must I?
The set of your jaw betrays
that veiled instinct to distrust.
The rapid flush of your cheek,
guarded love or un-love
evolved from so many years
of solitude after she died.
“Who is he? Is it me?
I must be included somewhere."
Must you?
Your finger hovers trembling
above a scathing verse of anti-love
that means nothing to me
But everything to you
in your frightened heart that loves
Not wisely, but too well.
“You don’t love me” you declare
“Poets must write what they know,
You told me!”
Must we?
I cannot articulate justification.
My pen poised over the same feelings
you suspect I have,
splayed over a page.
So I go on, meaning nothing.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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WoW, it has to been a while since I have spent some time reading others works. But I am very glad to have opened this one up :-) Great inspiring work, with creative and strong word choice.
language: 5, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 4.
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I'm glad I found this one, SS.
I'm late coming to this poem, but when I saw the title I HAD to read it - the whole question of "meaning" in poetry (and in life and love in your poem here) is very intriguing for me. I think you've explored that problem of meaning in spades here, SS. I read it several times, and I'm now convinced that this is a brilliant poem, one of the best I've read on the site.
The formatting is carefully chosen with a series of two-word stanzas separated from the other "exploring" stanzas. The use of briefly-worded conversation is restrained and all the more strong for that. The characterization of "he" in the poem is terrific: all the details I would need to know as a reader are enough to make this little drama complete. The diction, the word choices, show a lot of labor on your part, but that work is neatly hidden under fine style: words such as "splayed" "veiled" "evolved" "scathing" "justification" - all perfectly chosen. I think your poetic decisions about which words to use and where to place them is superb here.
Then, the "meaning." The poem confirms my bias that poems don't necessarily have to "mean" anything concrete. A poem doesn't have to mean; it only has to be - that is, BE the capture of a mood, a spirit, a feeling, a fear, an unanswerable question.
I don't mean that a totally opaque poem is a good one - such a poem wouldn't communicate to anyone but the poet. I mean that a poem only needs to glow from within itself, every word leaning on all the others, so that the poem becomes its own world. I think you've done that here.
All those nearly inexpressible answers to questions about lost love, betrayed love, "his" probing of your feelings, "your" nearly helpless response (especially in the poem's questions and in its last stanza): they really do add up to "meaning nothing." And that's what I think your poem is trying to get at: how can "nothing" somehow get onto a poet's page as "something"?
I'm going on here too much, I know. But I'm so taken with the skill and glow of this poem. Great poem!
Lad
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Thankyou Lad
I apologise for the late reply but I have had somewhat of a hiatus from Sharepoetry owing to my vast amount of uni work.
As to your comment, I am honoured that you think so highly of it, and believe me such praise from you is gladly and humbly recieved. I must give credit to my adversary, the Worthy Bird below for help with the formatting as my skill in that was somewhat lacking.
I am in total agreement about "meaning" in poetry. I have modest assumptions about my own verse yet this one I feel is one of my best.
Once again, I thankyou for the kind words Lad
Yours
Silver Spirit
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Good
Hi Silver. It took me two reads to untangle it and I think you need to work on the lay-out a bit to make it easier for the reader to 'get' who's saying what and move on so the poem can flow. I'll do a copy and paste and send it on to show you how I think it should look.
I love the subject and I think the poem handles it very well. This one will look very well in your portfolio!
I'm tempted to delve and ask who the players here are but it's irrelevant really and the poem should stand on its own. Always enjoy discovering the deeper and darker side of my Neme-sis! Good Write. >W<
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