All writing a twisted verse,
The curse of analytical thoughts swimming inside the head,
so introverted, torn and confused,
Angry and exasperated,
Skilled in the art of venting but lacking in the skill of communicating verbally
Angst ridden and aggrieved,
Seeing all the bile that infects the earth,
Not gaily enjoying the flowers and fountains but rotting on the inside,
No happiness to be found here,
Sitting alone in a single chair,
Shouting to be heard
writing a suicide note or a mission statement,
Crying and writing in red,
It's all in your head, boy!
No-one hates you, you just think too much,
Can you just enjoy life, why don't to try life,
Maybe you won't want to pop one in the middle of your head.
Author notes
Poets live inside their own minds, dwell inside their thoughts.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Love the sarcasm, adorasmum.
I really enjoy poems that are sassy, biting and sarcastic, and this one surely is.
This is the kind of poem that some people - who wouldn't know sarcasm if it kicked them in the ass - will take as completely literal, and then counsel "don't commit suicide" or "turn to religion and prayer." They miss the point.
And this poem's got a sharp point, adora - that some of our best work comes out of sadness and depressed moments - and what's wrong with that? Nothing. Creativity comes out of any one of our many moods, depression among them.
This poem's last four lines were a treat for me to read. "It's all in your head, boy!" is rich. Good, very good poem.
Lad -
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Thanks Lad for the review
I was writing one day and I was venting as I do sometimes and it occured to me how poetry is so often used to express angst. Its great that poets have an outlet for their pain-poetry got me through bullying, death, unrequited love etc. But sometimes we let the melancholy consume us.
Love and peace to the bards!!!!
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Wow!
Although this poem has a very dark mood it's also very powerful.
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 4.
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hey adorasmum
i like the premise that poets are introverted, over anayltical etc. and should have the freedom to investigate the dark side, on the contrary nothings worse than the happy face poem, so keep it dark and real.
dave -
true
It does seem that poets live in their head to some extent. I think it has to do with a desire to observe. I love to sit and people watch.
Also the more creative and intelligent a person is, the more it seems they/we overanalyze. I think it would be a comfort if everything observed could have a finite and predictable meaning. If only.
-Andrea
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.
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This was interesting. There is truth to it.
Your poem had a clear steady rhythm to it, it flows well. It very vivid. I had a slight difficulty reading through the second to the last line. But generally it was well written. I think, writers/poets do live in their heads. But i also think not most of them are troubled or tormented. But i have to admit, i began writing poetry as a troubled teen, but learned to move forward. However, the stronger the emotion the more passionate the poem is, i suppose. It doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be negative, it can be a positive intensity as well.
And i have to say, i live in my mind. I think of scenarios to write about...they don't necessarily have to be real. But it is in my head.
-iphios -
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Thank you very much for taking the time to read my work.
I have seen what you meant about the second to the last line, 'to' should be 'you'. I need to re-read all my poems before submitting them. Thanks for the comments.
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TO WHOM EVER YOU ARE, PLEASE SEEK SOME HELP BECAUSE THAT SUICIDE NOTE YOU JUST WROTE IS VERY SCAREY! KEEP ALL FAITH IN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR ( JESUS CHRIST) GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Its supposed to be tongue in cheek. This is about how poets usually only see the dark side of life. Sorry if it troubled you. I have faith in God by the way. Thanks for lokking at the poem. What did you think (apart from the fact that you thought I w
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WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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