On my mind,
Driving me crazy,
Sleeping/dreaming, waking hours/working,
Each second dedicated to studying the brown hue of your skin tone,
The precise location of the birth mark on your right thigh,
Your left eye, lashes are slightly lighter than the right,
You were a cookie from the oven undone on the left,
I kiss my hand like a practising kid would do,
Practicing how next I would statisfy you with my lips, my tongue, make you come, (so hard),
I wander over the extent of you,
No David but you are mine,
I watch the sun in anticiaption, when will the moon shine, And signal the time when you come back from work.
Then my heart will be filled with noise,
On the surface I am poised,
Jealousy rages deep within when I wonder about you not in my presence,
It's the essence of you,
So true and such a match for me,
I love the fact that you know me, the bullshit and the beauty,
You completely accept me, all the time.
You are constantly on my mind.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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We've all talked about that "spark"
You've captured it here perfectly. How someone's imperfections become perfection, how they consume our thoughts and our drive when we first meet them. But what I like best about this is, and I am inferring this, is that this feeling didn't disappear over time, but has only grown stronger...the true spark we all hope to find one day.
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Thanks Mk for your comments. I wrote this about my husband. Very nice of you to drop by.
Addy (as some special ones call me).
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eroticism and love are not mutually exclusive
This is a very unexpected love poem. I really enjoyed how you seamlessly joined intense passion and love. It is rare to see them together in this way. Beautiful.
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Love...what a crazy thing...
Yes what a true odsession love really is! I have had that crazy "anticipation" and it's also been to the point where I began to get upset if he were to be a few minutes late! I began to assume the worst.....Yeah love can seriously drive us nuts! But that comes with time. But anyways....getting back to your poem. This a great poem and it comes from the heart! One that shows the true reality of how extreme love gets us. The only akward part was when you talked about practicing with your hand!? I haven't done that since I was in the seventh grade...(many moons ago)lol But hey it makes the poem even better! Way to go! Keep up the good work!
Love Brooklyn
AKA NY -
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Thank you for the poistive comments.
The line you referred to about kissing my hand came from a combo of stuff, from watching that movie, 'the Piano' where she kisses her hand to her face and caresses the thought of being caressed and touched by her lover.
In addition to that, the way that this love makes me vulnerable and gets me doing silly stuff/childish stuff, because the person makes me feel like I did when I was young.
Thanks again for reading my writing and taking time to comment.
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The wondrous obsessiveness of love...
...adorasmum, and you've captured it passionately - the hidden details of the loved one that only an attentive lover would know - or want to know.
Most love poems are cliches. But this one has sass, erotic and emotional. The image of "cookie" is delightful.
Line 11 is my favorite, among many fine lines: reminds me of the American classic popsong lyrics by the masterful Larry Hart: "Your lips are laughable, unphotographable, but you're my favorite work of art..."
Good poem. Rich with honest feelings and sexiness.
Lad -
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Thanks Lad, always enjoy a critique from you. X
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