Everybody’s got something
They’ve had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
That just seems to grow with time
There’s no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might’ve been
But still I can’t find ways to let you go,
I never had a dream come true
`Till the day I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby
I never found the word to say
You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me too
Apart of me will always be, with you
Somewhere in my memory
I’ve lost all sense of time
Though my broken heart may never beat
`Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There’s no use looking back
Or wondering how it should be now or might’ve been
Oh this I know but still I can’t find ways
To let you go
You’ll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, I know you will oh baby
You’ll always be the one I know I’ll never forget
There’s no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
No.....
I just can't say goodbye
Author notes
I wrote this poem after loosing one of my best friends...he was always the guy who was there for you whenever you needed someone and he was killed in Iraq and I miss him dearly.
I want your honest straight foward and most blatent opinion
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Hi, NewYorker.
Nice and sweet. And you have my sympathies for a terrible loss.
But in all honesty, I have to say that this just doesn't work as a poem. It's far too literal; it tells rather than shows; it's - I hesitate to say, but I will - sappy.
It might work as lyrics for a song; most songs these days have little real poetry in them. But it just isn't a poem; it's more like a sympathy card.
Sorry, NY. That's the best I can do. Hope you don't hold it against me, but your author notes did ask!
Lad -
haha u deleted my other comment! i wonder why?!!!
do you by any chance have a guilty consciounce of COPYING a famous song and PASSING IT OFF AS YOUR OWN?!!!
haha! i can't believe you thought no one would know!!
oh i pity you, i really do
if you delete this comment you will only futher prove my point!
what did this plagarism accomplish anyway? some nice comments? ooohh! that will never be as good as being able to write poems of your own. at least you'll be on your way to being a writer if you DONT COPY!
good luck with that! -
Very Nice
A very sentimental piece that flows together well. You did a great job honoring your friend with your words.
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 3.
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hey brook
i agree with bill this has really good pacing and rhyme. sentimental and heartfelt without being sappy. i heard someone say a person doesnt die if someone remembers them and i think you capture this here.
dave -
wonderful
This was indeed a great piece of writing.It revealed more than what you wanted to say.I liked every line of this poem and i loved the way you have brought about you feelings.
I am sorry about you missing this person...It is a great tribute to your best friend.
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.
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Wow, I got goose bumps reading this one. Very powerful wording combined with good rhyme and rhythm. Plus it has what all good poetry really should come from, the heart. Losing someone you care deeply about is a terrible thing and venting through writing poetry helps ease the pain a little.
Very impressive write NY
Bill
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I'm sorry for your loss.
Very sweet and well written. This was definately written from the heart. It reads more like a song and that's how the movement of words were to me. It wasnt mushy or overly sentimental. Just right like the baby's porridge. Xlanguage: 2, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 4.
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