My pen has run dry
and my paper spoiled
my mind is blank
and my heart empty
My journal is untouched
and my feelings bottled
my temper has run short
and my intentions ruined
the pen marks on paper
are now scars on my arms
the tears that fell
are now burned-in gashes
the beautiful words used
are now mutilated trash
and the expressed stories
are nothing but nightmares
The written out freedom
now is liquefied sensation
and the peace now only achieved
by self-mutilation
My only friend abandoned
look at what Ive done to myself
Mocking this art of poetry
and embarrassing its beauty
Please tell me what you think
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Beautiful
You have totally captured the mood of a poet who lacks inspiration, and has nothing to write. You replaced poetry with self destruction. This is clear in the poem. It makes me sad that you have abandoned your friend for a void that is not beautiful. Please find your muse again.
For me, I always think that even if I had the required talent to be a full time poet, I would not be able to write by request because I sometimes take breaks from poetry and then suddenly get inspired. I hope that you can return to art to vent your pain. Much more contructive.
I loved the form of the poem. It was well written and effectively conveyed the suject. The first line sets the scene. The last stanza fully expresses the loss of a friend, a confidant.
Loved it.
. Rewarded 8
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Thank you soo much for your comment! I've been waiting with mass amounts of anticipation to see what people think of this poem. This was my struggle sprawled out into a poem. My frustrations are seeping through every line. It was an attempt to force some inspiration but thank you so much for your wanderful and insightful words. I do need to find healthier ways of venting and maybe I've been trying to hard but I'm lost in a restless unfufilling confusion thats tearing my mental health apart. That all is basically what I've been trying to say in this poem. I'm glad you found the message and you definately cought the emphasist in each stanza! thanks again, much obliged!
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Your honesty in this poem is overwhelming. The contrast between writing and its absence is so stark. And if this is the work of a lost poet....i think you have regained the title.Though in my opinion you will never lose such a title. A poet's pen may run dry. I have encountered moments/periods of time where i could not for the life of me write anything. An incompleteness lingers, a desire to squeeze out every ounce of me was there. But then the poets voice though weak shall find itself again.
To self-destruct is to kill that poet who has simply taken a rest. Trust in the very idea that you can write. Sometimes it gets frustrating. I for one, with all the work that i have to do and all that anger that rages seems to have lost the muses, but it is there. It will come out. Hold that pen and write...words, phrases. It may not be a poem, but it will do, until the poem finds its way.
For your poetry may have been lost for a while, but remember a friend...a real one ...is always there. And since it is inside of you, the more you must trust that it is there.
Love the poem.
-iphios. Rewarded 8
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The support and feedback from fellow poets always astounds me. Thank you so much for the advice. I have tried writing phrases and such but it just gets to me that Im not writing it out, but thats just because of my damn perfectionist/ OCD mentality. You left me with some very wise words that really made me look back on everything. I wish I could have gotten this kind of help and inspiration before I turned to self-destructive ways. But now, im left with scars that make a time line of my struggle. Thanks again for your wonderful comment and kind and inspirational words! I think by writing this poem I've maybe cleared the visions of the blinded poet. Although you say I've redeamed such a title, which really means alot to me, I feel so much humiliation and self disgust towards myself to what I've done to that title. This really gave me some good ideas for writing... Maybe this is the stepping stone I needed to get back to writing, who knows, but you will see when I come out of the darkness, you will see my poetry...
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I am rhymer... and I find it very difficult to control meter when I am not rhyming. I think you have achieved that quite commendably. The only place where I would prefer to see some rework is "and the peace now only achieved" and the "My only friend abandoned" The former seems a bit too long and "now only achieved" doesn't read too smooth. The later line gives a feeling that its your fried who is abandoned rather than you... SO you need to get some clarity there.
This piece was extremely powerful and all your negative emotions come out very strongly... I only hope that you drained all of them out and the "self-mutilation" you mention has now ended. And I am sure that your frustrations go a lot deeper than not writing poems. I just hope you have got rid of whatever was bothering you. I don't really want to get more philosophical on you than I can help...
PS: Thats a reallllllly cute picture that you have put up... Love those "Garfield" ears...
. Rewarded 8
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I am a rhymer myself, and free style is just no my nich. I'm learning to have some difference in my poetry though... I completely agree with you on those lines and when something better hits me, i will rework it! Thanks again, wonderful comment!
PS: They are supposed to be kitty ears... but thanks!
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I like this self-expression...
...which you've put into verse - and a self-controlled verse that rhymes. Only a writer with self-control can rhyme well. I think you've done that here.
And, some neat phrases: liquified sensation; burned-in gashes; embarrassing its beauty - thoughtful and emotional words!
I won't go into a counseling mode with you here; that should be the area of professionals. But, from a poetic point of view, I think himanshumodi has given you some good advice on the poem - I second his thoughts.
Finally, you might try this trick: the very next time something makes you smile (ANYTHING!!), start writing your feelings about it. Might help to get you slowly out of your suffering. Worth a try?
Lad. Rewarded 8
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Thank you very much for your comment, glad you enjoyed it, and that is some really good advice, I will have to try it sometime!
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This is to supplement Lad....
Dear Sky....
I could feel how controlled the poem is….
Not everyone understands oneself and not everyone knows to express what one is…..
Pray that I comprehend correctly your emotion…. Hey princess, what made you to go too pessimistic? The barrage of negative words in the beginning marred me to see what the ending would be and where you would take me to in the end…..
This little poem philosophies a strong truth… it’s poignant…. If there is no good amount of discussion when misunderstanding arises, the beauty of the gone days will be lost and none can figure out the true emotions and involvement in later days…..
I love this poem…..
Just take the life as it comes…. You may come across passing clouds…. Cheer up little lady…..
Lolz
Kiddy
. Rewarded 8
adorasmum
May 30, 2007