Love poems speak of roses and violets
And all manner of colorful plant.
They speak of dreams and wishes
And other figurative imaginations
They speak of fires burning in the heart,
Describing love with such simple metaphors,
And they speak of eternity and infinity-
Ideas we humans cannot understand.
I write not a love poem for you
For the visage of flowers is homely
When compared to the infinite, beautiful glow of your smile
And I cannot dream or wish for anything else
Knowing that perfection such as yourself graces this humble Earth
And there is no flame burning in my feeble heart,
For the fiery passion within your spirit consumes it entirely
And eternity and infinity pale when measured to what I feel for you-
It is such that only God Himself can grasp its depth.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
nice
I like it. Like most love poems, it ran the risk of being corny but your rejection of the common love poem and concepts that 'we humans cannot understand' give it that extra little umph pushing it into a more original and inspiring field of play.
As you say, it's not a love poem. Instead what you have created is a great poem about love, and your love - bravo!
-
This poem gets me thinking..
hmmm..
i like it. -
that is pritty nice sweeeeeeeeeeet !!!!!!!!!!! wow that was awsome
language: 4, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
-
I like it.
Negating the negative is a nifty device here, pg; it's pleasing how the first stanza describes the common love poem. Then the one-line second stanza rejects it. Then the third stanza re-affirms the ordinary images of love, but places them all not in the poet's self but in his beloved. Nice writing. Old-school sentiments like the sight of flowers, infinity, eternity, the fired-up heart are dismissed from the poet's passions, then replaced in the beloved's beauty.
Because of that device, I think the poem just misses being corny, and I'm thinking that you were very aware of the chance the poem takes about that. Instead, it sings very cleverly and sweetly...and honestly. Really nice.
Lad
Adding your comment:
