It's not the same when the world gets turned over,
like a rebellion unleashed into this realm.
Both fake and real, realizing circumstantial relationships are none to ease the soul or spirit.
Like-wise a master has held tight for a long time the mystical reunion of hearts to heart communication.
thus time stands at a distant place.
Occupied hazards wed the day and night together. Not opposite ... not different.
Just putt together in hopes of receiving a fair gift from spirits to spirit like was wanted when you fell as a kid of eight, or when the sun burned your eyeballs and you could not see again.
These entire messages search for all eternity in-depth of strange situations and situations meant be that you don't always know where to turn to, or when to drop pride where it belongs hidden.
Keep away you needed it to be, far away sometimes because it hurts to open you mouth at your mom or dad, afraid that they might not except you for who you are ... But you are ... great ... feeble ... needy ... on the top of the world.
But the same world might not see you that way,
they might see you as depressed ... unable ... forsaken to be poor.
Not all great things come. Not all minute inspirations call for inspired people.
Please tell me what you think
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A strange, bold and strong poem, twunders.
I enjoyed reading it, getting immersed in its often quite original images of self-doubt, the suffocating feeling of being squeezed between "day and night together," longing for "hearts to heart communication", being "great...feeble...needy" in an often hostile world.
Those are my thoughts as I read your poem several times. My own (humble and personal) opinion is that some of its lines might be too overdone, but it really doesn't matter, because the whole poem adds up to an almost overwhelming sense of being lost in doubt - a terrifying emotion for sure.
I especially liked the final line: "...Not all minute inspirations call for inspired people." I sense there the flashes of insights that come to us about ourselves are not always helpful, may even make situations worse.
Is "meant be" better as "meant to be"? And, I think you wanted "accept" for "except" in the fourth stanza. But those are minor quibbles. The poem, all in all for me, has a powerful style, a run-on outpouring of feelings.
I like it.
Lad
Lad
July 27, 2007
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