I remembered the day you were born
you were different then
I remembered the day the book was torn
you were different then
I remembered the times we lived
you were different then
we laughed, we cried ,we fought
we ran away together and were caught
together we were scolded and praised as well
we braved the storm we were tough as hell
and then I saw the devil's look in your eye
I wanted to die and I tried hard not to cry
but it was too late
you forgot to care and
you forgot to remember
and wounded me with words
that scarred forever
still sometimes when the rain falls softly
I remember
Sometimes there are clouds
sometimes there is rain
the mirror shows something else
storms in the sea, worms in the brain
what is lost on life's train
sing to yourself and move on my dear
there are many things that will cheer
you on a day like this, have noo fear
the magic of a smile will sail you through
it's pointless being so blue
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Greetings, blazingleo.
I like this poem immensely, especially its first half. In that first stanza, I enjoy the rhyme and meter, but most of all I like its nostalgia about someone you grew up with with joy, perhaps a brother or sister? but who changed, and not for the better. That image of seeing "the devil's look in your eye" is chilling; something in that other person went terribly wrong. And that first stanza's final two lines are simply and softly beautiful.
The second stanza is good too, but, for me, not quite as glowing as the first. It has a touch of Hallmark-card to it, but I still like it because of its honest feelings of hope for him/her.
Good writing for me to enjoy, blazingleo (I really like that screenname too). I'm glad I could return the favor by looking at one of your poems.
Lad
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