Even though you created me
I hold you with no regard.
Why couldn't you just see
that everything you did
would leave me with these scars?
I took your painful abuse
and held on to those tears,
afraid of what I'd lose
by giving in to my fears.
You were only around
when your fury needed release.
You kept pushing me down
and your hate never ceased.
I was so petty to you,
only a ripple in your wake
and now, I wonder if you knew
that my respect for you was at stake.
So here I am, years away,
fighting desperately
to keep the memories at bay,
and you just stand there,
offering no reason at all,
like you're not ready to say
that you were the one at fault.
You point your finger at me
like I deserved all of this,
but what you fail to see
is, to me, you don't exist.
Author notes
also posted at http://darkphyre024.deviantart.com/
one of my more personal writes, it deals with something that I still find very difficult to open up about ...
What's your interpretation of this poem? And did you feel like you could have written it yourself? Would you mind explaining a little?
Comments
-
Very brave and deep
You truly did an amazing job expressing this topic. The whole time as i was reading this i thought of one my closest friends who went through the same thing as you. It says you have a hard time opening up about this subject so it was great that you could put it into words, because even though its not talking its still a way of venting which can also help.
amazing
--Tori.language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
-
Good writing and good reading, Korynthe.
For me, there's only one way to interpret this subdued angry lament: harsh parental physical abuse leaves, as you say, "scars" forever. As a boy, I went through the same with my father. And the wounds are still there, although by now I've learned to deal with them by telling myself what I think is the truth: most families are terribly dysfunctional in one way or another; the perfect family hardly exists, in my opinion. So, it sure wasn't like a family sit-com on TV, but it just was life.
One good thing has come out of the past for me: I've set my whole life against deliberately hurting anyone, although sometimes I look back and realize I did; a painful realization.
As to the poem itself, just a couple thoughts (only my opinion). Maybe "that my respect..." could be shortened to "my respect...", since the "that" makes the line a bit clumsy. And, the final line doesn't quite ring true; if the abusing parent "doesn't exist", then the poem itself loses its reality. Just wondering if a stronger line could end your very strong poem. Now, those are ONLY my opinions, Korynthe. All in all, I think the poem is very moving; it tackles a troubling subject with skill: carefully constructed lines, natural rhymes, just the right length to pack its punch.
Good poem for me to think about!
Lad -
Very brave
You have done an incredible job of expressing some of your deepest pain for everyone to read, as well a great piece all together. you showed alot of emotion which is great in any type of writing.
kudos to you =]
--Tori
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
-
deep and sad
It has brought about your feelings vividly..sadness resonates throught the entire length of the poem and it leaves the reader with a heavy feeling...
Your voice of dispair has reached out and made the desired impact.
Good write...
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 4.
Adding your comment:
