Histoire brisée
Hélas, il n'y a rien à dire,
cet endroit est un peu pire
que nous l'avions entendu.
Beaucoup nous reste suspendu
sans nos amis qui, disparus,
ne seront jamais avec nous.
If you understood these words,
written in français brisé,
you would see how few rewards
are where all have gone away.
But time passes, il s'enfuit
sans aucun mot, et sans bruit.
The end of things no whimper gives
yet love remains behind and lives.
Author notes
In French titles, only the first word has a capital. This is a quiet lament, after a group disperses.
Rhyming in French, especially for Rien sans toi.
About to disappear in last position below, is the translation, transplanted here:
Broken Story
Alas, there is nothing to say,
this site is a bit worse
than we thought it to be.
Such a lot remains suspended
without our friends who, disappeared,
will never be with us.
français brisé,--- broken French
But time passes, il s'enfuit--
it ran off
sans aucun mot, et sans bruit.
without a word and soundlessly.
(It's better in French)
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Nice to see you again
I read this awhile back but didn't tell you how much I liked it, rhythm sound and sense. I hope your busy life has calmed a little?
Best RA -
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In a word, no...
But it compensates for the losses of our lives to be productively so busy that there is little time for regret. Consequently what I do is much more a privilege than a burden. It certainly leaves me no time to get into trouble!
Some of the folk who animated the old group have since been in touch again, and it is a much happier way to be now. Many still are missed, hard as we grow older and outlive old friends.
Thank you so much!
Terry
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To an Enfant Terryble
for putting my lacklustre skills of francais to the test once more! But in the gist there is much griste to the mill for the wandering melange of my thoughts. Things should indeed never culminate in a whimper - far better in a pithy portrait of times gone by such as your fine verse evokes, Terry.
Apologies for my prodigal absence of late but your exceedingly generous feedback of The Scarlet Whore engendered an expansive rewrite which in turn led to a thorough rerendering of the tale. This has so occupied my addled faculties that even the tersest verse revolves around Vep which I´ve no doubt will serve up severe veprisals soon.
But in the interrim please keep well dear Terry.
Warmest regards
gG
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Greetings gG
Histoire brisée does seem to have become a portemanteau poem over time, adaptable to all manner of interruptions, breaks and detartures. Sad, but inevitable. In forums, I apparently have that effect too and when the thread was closed, the jeering followed me with IMs. I make such an easy target.
Good to hear that it was a rewrite that ferried you away!
The work was good already, doit-il devenir incroyablement merveilleux? Sans doute! Later, when time permits, if you like, I'd like to cast the Proofreader's Eye through your Magnum Opus. Won't find anything...
I have serious duties in AP School so Time is in short supply. Revising my course, splitting two to five parts
is part of that. So saying... À la prochaine!
It was so good to hear from you!!
Terry
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Cherie Terry...
Sounds like you've been gifted with, as John Cardinal Newman once wrote, a "second Spring", and I rejoice for you. I should have such elan!!
By the way, is it possible that your little reply boxes are resulting from not having JavaScript in your computer? I had the same frustrating trouble with boxes anywhere from one-eighth to one-inch narrow until I got a friend to put Java in; then all cleared up. Just a thought.
Ton ami poetique,
Lad -
Hi, Dee. Long time no see!
Terry, cette poeme est belle et lovely. Nice to see you in fine bilingual and poetic form again. Missed you.
Yes, the loss of so many of our cyber-friends, not to mention our real life friends, is no less than melancholic. I love the poem; its francais brisee was just clear enough for my high-school French to catch its drift, and your combining it with anglais is an added treat, but somehow the French seems more poignant, like the sound of loss. It comes to my ear and eye perfectly regarding the fragility of what we dearly hold, "without a word and soundlessly."
Hope all is well. I remember how busy your Septembers are, tutoring, among many other endeavors. My best to you, Therese!
Lad
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Dear Lad, great to hear from you too! I do return here daily, to read. I have missed so many here who seem to have dropped away. I have not, but who can tell?
Don't answer that. My own course-work and tutoring two separately start next week. On the other hand, this is the first time since 1970 that I have walked like other people; longer distances every day, without everything: sans walker, sans canes, sans PAIN ! It is three months since my second knee was replaced with truly miraculous success and I don't even need Tylenol anymore. I walk an hour every day. Swam in the river for the first time in years. My doctor, who has a geriatric practice grinned as he said, "I hear nothing but complaints every day and it is such a treat to see one of my patients growing younger!" All is well.
About Histoire brisée, my biggest surprise was how easily it rhymed in couplets!--as if pre-intended. All by sound.
I'm glad you wrote!
Terry -
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Terry, I'm joyeux...
...that you're able to walk so much more freely now; you've got a helluva good physician, and a mighty fine perseverance. Great combination. Seems like you've found the fountain of...middle age!! - maybe I'll find it soon too.
Lad -
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D'accord!
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Na-
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Pasting
Thank you, Lad!
Moi aussi! It has been an amazing year.
Now a diet-controlled diabetic, there was still doubt my bones would heal. Osteotomies in 1984 had resulted in legs held together with loosening staples. Hopeless, right? I was on wheels but the pain was approaching extreme. My doctor sent me to a specialist who refused even to try, but suggested a research project about to start at the U of Toronto medical school, headed by their prof of orthopaedic surgery.
Some of this you already know.
I went to Toronto, and with some doubt (Dr Mohamed could give it no more than 40% chance of success.) I signed on to accept risk under a Research grant-- no charge to me. Because both knees had been unstable, recovery was difficult, injuring the new knee before it had healed both times I fell in hospital. (The other knee let go.)
In May I had the other replaced almost painlessly, and have not looked back since. Metal knees, they are good for a hundred years! My exuberance knows no bounds!
The fountain of youth is the way it feels. Considering my age (77) even my middle age would be considered "old" by a lot of our teen members here. It depends on point of view.
Being a stubborn old cuss, il est convenable de temps en temps!
Terry
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Hi Terry,
I would go there and fix the narrow reply box if i could. I do hope to hear from you again, commenting thoroughly on my poems, but i understand the predicament. Anyway, i loved this poem. It spoke as if the person speaking is truly breaking at the fact that the important group in her life is gone. It is poignant and honest. It speaks loud and clear of the grief that such a thing happened.
The couplet said it all, for at the end of the day love doesn't really disappear.It will remain and no matter how groups die, it lies deep inside, between the arteries of our hearts. I think that is the beauty of friendship, that it really knows no end.
Had i understood french, the beauty of the poem would notbe compromised and maybe even the tone, however the english translation was still beautiful.
My regards to you Terry.
-iphios -
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Iphio
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ll be back!
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Pasted from Notepad.
It's true, it was a heartbreaker.
The group dated back to early computer days when we had to use DOS code even to send a barebones poem to the Bulletin Board, before Telnet arrived to make submissions easier. We were truly pioneers, when it took as long to submit as to write the poem!
A dozen people, fifteen at most, all Ontario teachers of various ages, and as always, I at least a generation older than anyone. They called me "Ma" and over the years it was like Family. A later arrival, Mike, wrote his very first poem with us and proceeded, with natural talent, to show most of us how it's done! It resulted in a website, with contributions by almost all, still found at
http://www.mattaweb.ca/archive5/kaleimenu.htm
on my web domain. KALEIDOSCOPE became a permanent record of our growth as poets. The server where we worked and kibitzed was funded by the provincial government, and all was well until the elections changed to Conservative. Draconian rule--they hated teachers--cut the funding in 1995
and closed us down . We struggled via e-mail, but it ended in a whimper. Since then six friendships have survived on a wee newsgroup that Kaye and I opened, but the poetry slowed to a trickle. I'm not sure but it is possible I am the only one still writing poems. One of the guys has written three novels already, published --and NOT a "vanity press" company.
It was an exaggeration to say "permanent" record. I am planning to live to 105, but when I no longer pay the fee, the site will vanish. I have a copy of it on CD.
Having to restrict communication in Sharepoetry is like déjà vu,
I used to love being here until the narrow reply box could not be fixed, making the process far more tedious than fun. I still return daily to read the critiques, but as an outsider, it is sad.
Replaced. For several years I have taught a course at AP School, and the website that supports my courses (2) is in its third major edit. I was also asked to serve as Assistant Dean of the AP school, and it keeps me as they say, "off the street." That and tutoring in the mornings fill more hours really than I have. I also have wandered into the forums at AP.
It's not the same. Such things seldom are.
But the memories are great!
You're right, the friendship has no end. I have from the start felt a special kinship with you, and am so glad you took the time to contact me through this poem. Thank you!
Now, I hope this will fit through the 5-letter wide reply box without getting strangled or compacted beyond sending!
Keep well!
Terry
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Hi Terry,
I'm lost in the french. But I do hope I could read a translation.
-iphios -
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Thanks, I'll paste it into my narrow reply box.
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Translations
Alas, there is nothing to say,
this site is a bit worse
than we thought it to be.
Such a lot remains suspended
without our friends who, disappeared,
will never be with us.
français brisé,--- broken French
But time passes, il s'enfuit--
it ran off
sans aucun mot, et sans bruit.
without a word and no sound.
(It's better in French)
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