Painted Dreams
A broken sight is all that I saw
sleeping in the back of my mind
Afraid to dream so I tried to draw
the very sight that I thought was mine
Pieces of memories were penciled down
and drawn on sheets within my head
I stepped back to check them out
only to find something new instead
This dream I see, right in front of me
it no longer resides, from deep inside
I only hope that my love could see
that I've always dream't that we'd collide
A stick figure of you, with your name below
was all that I had, it was all that I know
It's been here with me, since so long ago
when you told me to hold on, to never let go
And when I'm alone, I just close my eyes
I go back to my dreams, it's just you and I
And the work of art that you are is painted inside
on this white canvas of hope, which I keep alive
by fighting off the day that the paint will dry
until we can stand together, with our hearts close by
hand in hand, we'll finally see the world outside
and how it looks reflected in each others eyes.
What, if anything, images played in your mind while you read this?
Comments
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Amazing
I loved this
great job. i dont think you need to fix anything at all in it. this poem sort of relates to things that have happened in my life or like an event. what i got was that either you were writing about someone you love and you lost them but you hold them forever in your heart and always dream to be together. but then i also got something completley diffent like how you have a love and you both plan to be together but for now you cant be close
gret job
--Tori
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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I really like the line "pieces of memories were penciled down and drwan on sheets within my head" it reminds me of a poem I have been working on with a specfic line that i haven't quite worked out yet. I enjoy your writing, can't wait to see more.
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I see someone wanting to connect with their love, whoI'm guessing is around anymore or at the time. They want to connect through their dreams?
Not sure if that is right, but that's what I get.
I really like it though. It flows well and is pretty clear, not jumbled or skipping from one subject to another.
good work,
Ashley
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