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Broken

I cry for you
day and night
thinking of what we had...
of what is now lost...

 

false words of love
spoken from your lips
now tear at my heart
and bring nothing but tears

 

promises of love
and life now broken
taken away
in the blink of an eye

 

you walk away
as if it meant nothing
like the love that was between us
was never there

 

you will never understand
what you have done to me
you have broken my heart
into too many pieces to mend...

 

I gave you my love and my life
I wanted to be with you forever...
but you no longer care
you left me for someone else...

 

You left as if I meant nothing
nothing at all to you
and now I'm left to live
in this world alone...

 

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Please tell me what you think

    : Comment:

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Heavenly Eagle
    October 24, 2007

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    Brokenness

    The brokenness in this piece lends itself to be cried over, a sharp, searing pain so recent that we still cower in the corner afraid of our own shadows. Fears that once consumed us were washed away with this person and now return with force, bringing with it a sense of total loss and hopelessness... This is beautifully written and simple in text, very easy to understand and to feel what you feel. Great writing.

    Robert


  • Colton Macy
    September 30, 2007

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    from one broken heart to another

    i understand what you are trying to say. and what you telling is beauty, anger, frustration, and alot of love. I know what it feels like to have love flow 1 way.

    may i sugest for you to read my poem "remember when"
    it might help

    neways...it was a great write nvr stop


  • Ahkam silver member
    September 15, 2007
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    Beautiful

    this is I believe your the best poem so far


  • Muhammad Shanazar
    September 14, 2007

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    Comments

    The poem is emotional, written with the blood of sincerty; the poetess has been shocked by the so-called loyal lover, it is the ultimate result of the the blind faith that Woman has in Man. All is not yet dark, compose yourself, the world does not lack good people; your second dive must be tremendous. The poem has general apeal, it has been written with simple diction.
    Shanazar


  • Outlaw Philosipher
    August 23, 2007

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    wow i really like this poem
    it touches the heart
    Not all the poems ive seen have done that
    IM new to poetry but thats dang good
    it reminds me of hank williams sr music
    he had such soul to his tunes
    the poem showed that in so many ways


  • Ahkam silver member
    August 19, 2007

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    Sad But Sweet

    the poem is very nice ,sad and simple.I am not sure about the rhyme scheme but overall the poem has a flow.there is a typo in the last stanza..."and now im left to live"

    language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 3, form: 3.


  • six of diamonds
    August 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    im--> I'm

    I'm sorry to hear that you are so sad. Love is hard. Time goes by and you love again and even that is hard too. Hopefully you'll be able to file this away soon and write about the magic of falling in love again--this time with the right person.


    • SweetAngelKitten
      August 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks..

      Thanks for your comment. Yeah im going through a bad break up right now... I though I had found the right person... we were even talking about getting maried one day, but then he just left me like i ment nothing to him and i just dont get it... Anyway.. thanks again for your comment.

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