I was lost in a jungle
of tar and tires
for several weeks
black marks
on asphalt
sirens of screaming skies
and never-ending
nights
and this ever present knowing:
around the next turn
you
may wait
unharmed
a-flying
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Please tell me what you think
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Hello, myrataal.
I'm glad I found this very appealing poem of hope; it's refreshing to see such a brief and optimistic poem these days.
For my reading, I sense a huge discomfort with the mechanical things of life: the tires, black marks on asphalt and screaming skies; sounds like the horrors of a modern airport and the near absurdity of people crammed and scrambling there - and in the skies.
Then, the hope: that longed-for landing at a place of peace at last, having escaped those possibly harming skies, yet now really "a-flying" with renewed life. Very appealing, and a quite original take on being lost, then found.
Good reading for me!
Lad. Rewarded 8
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Myra jammer - per ongeluk hierop gekliek - het reeds dit evalueer - kan jy die punte verhaal? Maar ek sal weer probeer:
You have succeeded in combining certain words to create a certain tone:
* 'jungle'
* 'asphalt'
* 'nights'
* 'next turn'
* 'unharmed'
These words are not only associated with 'danger', 'surrounded', 'trapped', 'fear', etc., but with unknowingness and inner uncertainty. While this poem may be a 'picture' of the human-created jungle, it is also a picture of man's inner 'self-creation' - the significant: 'around the next turn...you..wait'. A poem that flows with 'speed' in its first few lines, and then the 'halt', the 'think', and the 'brief outcome' interestingly presented. Thank you for the 'outward' and 'inward' journey.
. Rewarded 8
Lad
August 27, 2007
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