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A stab to the heart is naught but a flesh wound, Of lost loves and forgotten good byes. Living in this desperation I am forever doomed, Remembering the pain, black tears bleed from my eyes. As the stars fall from the heavens, Hope still yet resides in my heart. Though my fate shall follow me to the world’s ends, Of the rebuilding of my life you shan’t take part. Tethered tightly to the stake, Awaiting the hatred to burn me alive. Hoping that from this dream I shall soon awake, From the thought that your love was nothing but lies. The fire is suddenly drenched by falling rain, If not also by my many tears. Slowly fading away is the pain, Weathered by many sorrowful years. The velvet edges of the rose now singed by the flame, The color changed to that of darkest shadows. Upon you I no longer rest the blame, Pricking a pale finger upon a thorn, the crimson blood rapidly flows. As the black tears bleed from my eyes. |
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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one of the best i have read in a while
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You have written a wonderful poem. I found that the last stanza, although a beautiful message, does not match up to the former stanzas - only my humbly opinion. I would therefore suggest you rethink this stanza. I hate saying this, as one's poem is so precious, and even more so when it comes through pain piercing the heart. There is maturity in your message, not many have reached this 'stop-over' in there lives - but on the otherside of this pain, there is so much learning to go on. Thank you for allowing me to make these comments. FransB.
language: 3, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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