He spoke about the struggle…
Life’s expeditions
are journeys of entombed knowingness
with hope carefully ingrained.
His past emanating strength…
Confrontational reflections
bring sadness with specks of cautious joy -
a gentleness for guarded soul.
His present another struggle…
Occurrences relived
replacing death’s breath
with freedom’s thought of soul.
His concern a journey...
Searching discovery
replacing struggle with love
exchanging expeditions with journeys.
His find an expedition…
Security and life
embeds purpose in discovery -
journey’s uncovering expeditions.
Author notes
A talk with a friend who participated in the 'struggle' for the democracy of South Africa.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
This poem within a poem, Frans...
...is appealing, not only for its poetic technique, but even more for its message of hope in a grand struggle. I like the 'headlines' as a poem in themselves, and then each three inner lines beautifully develop its main thought. What I also find interesting is the subtle poetic play on notions of expedition and journey, struggle and love, searching and finding. Nicely done.
Without your 'author notes', the poem seems unspecific, vague and undefined, leaving me wondering what its focus is, what its "struggle" is all about. But WITH your notes, it comes alive, especially with "replacing struggle with love / Exchanging expeditions with journeys." Whether the poem should stand on its own, without notes to clarify it, is up to you, of course.
I wonder if "specs" is a typo for "specks" or if it is an intentional abbreviation for "speculations" or "spectacles" - each one changing the lines' meaning. But whatever the case, the line, as is, might work with a little imagination on the reader's part.
For years, I've followed the developments of democracy in SA with great interest. May your friend's struggle lead to success, if it hasn't already.
Lad -
Neatly structured, as stepping stones ...
towards healing -- until struggle becomes joy and discovery of compassionate sharing!
For me this poem accumulated in intensity, progressed towards the finding of inner solutions, of freedom within perceptions and within the self.
I am so grateful for people like you in our beloved country, who truly strive to open up souls to their divine purpose ... In doing so, you work on the level of meta-healing, and every single one walking this path of self-discovery with you, is empowered to share of rediscovered core its talents and its love.
Well done Frans. The enticing title certainly took the reader right into the interchange of expedition and journey -- the latter a never-ending path of discovery.
Edengroete
Myralanguage: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 4.
-
-
Thank you Myra. Look forward to working with you this weekend.
-
Adding your comment:
