You pass this sort of sight on a daily basis comma
Alive once now reduced to life’s merest traces hyphen
Smeared regularly across any common thoroughfare enjambment
Is the road kill which simply proliferates nearly everywhere semi dash colon
We step over and around and think colon well that’s just too bad another comma
But they sob where the kill’s so bloody sad thanks to the suicide bomber exclamation mark or point
Punctuations further comma en route for our world to hope or damnation full stop forward slash period Asterisk asterisk asterisk open bracket expletives deleted close bracket
Comments
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This is one serious trip, Frank...
...lightly but sadly expressed in a funky, very original way. Using worded punctuations and cleverly making them part of the poem's meaning - well, for me, that's just about as delightful and searing at the same time, as any deconstructed poem can be. Bravo, for real.
And yes, on ordinary roads, its kills are a matter of disregarded commas and hypens, enjambments and colons - barely noticeable. But on the world's road to "hope or damnation", because of humanity's need to destroy, the planet's inhabitants ride along, weeping, missing the terrible reality of any "bloody sad" kills, however small they are. Then the final two lines' deliberately over-the-top punctuations that image the poet's high-powered frustration and impotent rage over our innate tendency to kill, no matter on what road.
That's my interpretation comma Frank hyphen hope I'm not too far off exclamation point Let me know if I am full stop Brightly original work full stop
Lad -
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One of my best reads ever
It's so good when someone gets one's drift isn't.
If a non-standard piece is assayed it helps if someone goes with you and gets the idea as you did Lad so well, thank you as you say over there period. And a brilliant pay-off likee stylee use of the descriptive punctuation gimmick that tickled me no end. One of my best critiques ever and it made me feel as proud of myself as Paris H must if she has an idea, ever. Frank -
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Frank...
...belated thanks for your great response to my comments. Ha! yeh, anorexic-brained Paris Hilton, for sure. Whenever I see her on the tube, I think of a chandelier in a craphouse.
As to my seeing into your poem, I could do that because your work ALLOWS a reader in, in spite of, rather because of, your cleverly original ways with our language. What, less skilfully, might have been an impenetrable riddle trying to be a poem, is just-enough clear to hit hard, as you intended. Nice work.
Lad
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