"To be fully me
you need to be you",
for interdependence
makes us whole.
Born dependent,
learning independence,
with little care for
a life of interdependence.
In knowing myself,
and you knowing you,
together our needs instead
of greed can be met.
Honesty it takes
with growing responsibilty:
for life of ownership
fulfill's our purpose.
This journey’s power
of reverence within,
nurtures the conundrum:
a fulfilling life for you and me.
Author notes
Understand life's riddle to being a fuller you.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I have never received such a wonderful narrative and do not view this as 'soap box' staging. This was the reason why I wrote this poem. The more suggestions I get the better. But alas, not all are as able or as willing as you. My concept is that we can tell each other what is right and wrong, but there is also another way. Maturing within yourself, provides the spin-offs for others to mature within themselves; but then also: the better I get to know myself, the more free I am to let you know of and about me - critcism despite, as they no longer can hurt the inner self - I will view them as areas of growing, even if I do not agree with it - its all about control over what I feel, think and choose 'with relevance to myself'. My maturity will enable insight in others and allow me to help, guide, provide - I actually prefer to use the terms: work, care, live, reign, represent, and serve [perhaps longer in statement as what you have referred to what both your mother and wife have 'taught' you]. Its les about greed and all about need. We are individuals in our own right, but whoever thinks sole right, will miss out the wonders of living purpose - for I am that small piece of the jigsaw, as you are in this puzzle. To 'state' my case: in meeting you, I have already grown, and more so because we both [that's what I truly think] have reached this maturity - see, this is why I mentioned [according to you twice already] the word maturity in one or two of my comments on some of your poems. Plumber or no plumber, you can do what I cannot - I am the only one I know who can hit a nail in a wall [at least try], leaving a whole just to have the wall come crashing down! So do not let my academic stance imply anything - I take a humble view fo this, I am learning each day of my life. Its wonderful to have you as a friend! Will take cognisance of the comments regarding to form, rhyme, rythem etc. and have a relook at the poem. Have not got the straight soft touch yet - its like s..., practice makes perfect [most probably will get penalised for saying this on 'air'. Frans
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We cannot gift stolen goods
To love, or to share of ourselves with others, we must first be in possession of ourselves, meaning being secure in what we are and what we have to contribute. Those guilty of dependency can bring nothing to a relationship, but only take away or be "takers". Co-dependency, or being needy, is a weak substitute for interdependence, the willful bonding of two secure people who bring their individual strengths to the table of a relationship and join for the sake of synergy and becoming more together. When people bastardize this relationship by being either dependent or encouraging co-dependence it is a recipe for the disaster that so often strikes the modern day relationship.
That's why I like good, old-fashioned roles and as such am a "sexist" bastard. "Father is the head, mother is the heart." "A woman's place is in the home." All sound principles. Now, I can already hear the approaching clashing of feminists brandishing their appendage hacking weaponry, but seriously, no need...
Women bring tenderness, consideration, a deep understanding of feelings, forbearance and nurturing. All things that men need to complement their opposing character in these respects. Men, in contrast bring protection, provide resources for the woman to create an nurturing environment and abode for children and, my favorite, provide the necessary ingredients for creating the little consumers of this safe haven thus provided in this joint interdependent effort of homemaking.
Now, it is my honest opinion that men by far are the takers and most guilty of codependency and not the other way around as many may suppose because of the designation of man as the provider. I have learned more from my wife and her kindness than life experience alone has ever taught me. Life makes me a hard bastard, but she teaches me otherwise. I am dependent upon her for growth in my character. I am by far the taker. But I take solace in the fact that I bring home the bacon and kick ass on any potential intrusion on our safety and happiness. I know that I need her, and I hope that she needs me. I know that I contribute to her, and I hope that she knows how much she contributes to me.
Did I get it? Clue me in please, Frans. I liked the thought, here, but this seemed more like prose adapted from a workshop on human relations. I personally would like to see it spiced up a little with rhyme, but that's just me as I'm a fool for matching word sounds. What I liked most was how this made me consider the concept of interdependence and to explore its role in my life which I did here, and I thank you for that. But I think the thoughts here assume an deeper understanding of the subject matter than most necessarily have. I only knew what you were talking about because I was raised by a mother obsessed with understanding the human psyche and as such was often exposed to such concepts of interdependence, co-dependence, etc. Otherwise, I think this assumes as great knowledge on the part of the reader as that of the writer. I feel this needs to be honed for us ignorants. I understand that you conduct workshops on such things and as such are in full comprehension of the message you intend to convey. But personally, I had to dredge up my past intstruction via my Freudian Mommy to grasp the subject matter and what you were getting at. Now, I am not an educated man but for what culture my white-collar aspiring mother tried to instill in me, so others may be fine with this. But this is me, the dumb plumber telling you what he thought. I think this needs more along the lines of clarifying your premise of co-dependence/interdependence/independence. That, however, is just my two cents worth.
Now, what do I mean by all the preceding gobblydigook? Here is an example:
"To be fully me
you need to be you",
for interdependence
makes us whole.
This stanza assumes that people are familiar with the concept of interdependence. I know that you explain it in these lines, but I think more common terminology would be in order, ie:
I need to be me
You need to be you
together then better
conjoined we two.
Now, that's just me wanting some rhyme and down home clarity. But that's my honest, independent assessment of this here poetic endeavor. I may be wrong according to others, but for me, this is the viewpoint I bring to this table. Take what you can and please don't hate me for my honest opinion on this endeavor, Frans. I like you and that's why I'm honest with you here. Feel free to debunk my misunderstanding if I am remiss here, as I often am.
So, in short; I liked the message and the internal discussion it enlivened in me, but please wind the thought around more down to earth concepts and terminology, my own ignorance notwithstanding.
Thanks, Frans. I hadn't given a thought about this concept for some time and I thank you for the opportunity to mount my soapbox on it. Please forgive me if I come off didactic, I just like to engage in discussion of such things. So thanks.
Al
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i understand crazy way we go down
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