I see gnarled limbs, tangled buds
I see fluttering losses, cold flames
I see exciting exploits
pointless danger
senseless direction
I see an oppurtunity for adventure
and I take it
Author notes
Believe it or not this poem was concieved whilst halfway stuck in a large bush. I saw a way out, and took it ^_^
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very nice and quite abstract. I like that in a poem. What really struck me though was this line here: "I see fluttering losses, cold flames".
That's kins=da a paradox cuz flames can't be coold! All in all though, I really liked it! Nothing to change.
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Not a paradox. What I meant by cold flames were the leaves. Instead of using the old cliche I just made up my own way of writing it
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A Fine Way....
to express a funny situation. Very creative and completely original as to the situation you have written about =p The way you showed this character taking what was around him, then seeing it as what they view it as is a wonderful touch to this poem. As they say, "With great literate power, comes -the experience of getting caught in a bush?"
Fun read for me ;]
-Renji
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