Your eyes are like violets,
your beauty divine
your skin like the moon
I must have you mine!
Your voice like a bell
soft to the ears
your touch like a prayer
destroying my fears
But thats what you expect
For many a time love poems are forged
by romantics hopelessly fell
"your eyes are like this, your skin like that"
save me from repetitive hell!
every damn adjective in the book
hath once been weaved to a dame
till all words are forfeit, losing all cause
and it all starts sounding the same
So my poem is different,
for your eyes are just blue
and though your skin is normal
a slight golden hue
your not the ugliest or the prettiest
sad but it's true
It doesn't matter
'cause i love you
Author notes
I hate love poems being slightly varied yet repeated OVER AND OVER! so i wrote this ^_^
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I'm with you on this!
Great write!
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I like this because it sort of expresses the same sentiments as "Love Is Not Blind," one of my favorite poems by Edna St. Vincent Millay. It can be found on this page if you're interested: http://www.sonnets.org/millay.htm Good work!
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lol i liked this alot, it made me smile.
Its very original and well written
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Wonderful!
I love poems like this that have so much emotion. This seems so familliar, almost like it matches my life. I love the way that you made it different from all of the repetitive poems on love. It is such an understandable poem. I love the feelings that you repressented. BRAVO!
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:))
I LOVE IT !!!!!! you make me smile!!No flaws, no errors, just perfection! I need to write a love poem for this Poem!!!!!!! Yah!!! -
Wow. I like this. It reminds me of a poem I wrote a while back called "Not a Love Poem." The passion and purity of love utterly transcends the feeble words that we sometimes use to describe it. I only have one small criticism - in the fifth line of the last stanza, the word "your" should be "you're." That's really all I can say. In a simple yet meaningful way, this drives home the fact that simple human language cannot express love. It is what it is - just love - and there's nothing we can say that describes it more efficiently. Good writing!
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very well done. I am a fan of irony and this is great! Yes, mushy love poetry does get a bit trite somehow...(unless it is written for you or by you, lol! Love it!LD
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^_^
I like this a lot because its too true. Most love poems to date save this one and one by Pablo Neruda (the title of which I can not remember :-( ) contains the same mushy lines, the same hyperbole, the same women almost. As though no matter whose in love, the vision of beauty remains the same. I really enjoyed this, keep up the good work!
-RD
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I liked it
it had me laughing because the title just another love poem or so you think left me a bit confused in the begining because it was starting out like all the other love poems i have read but once i got half way down i realized this wasnt like anyother love poem. I do have to agree with you on the whole love poem thing it does always seem to be the same and its becomming a little annoying at first i didnt mind but now....its kinda like one of those songs on the raido you start out loving but then grow to hate because you hear it so much. and wow im rambling on...lol. well anyways a great read for me.
you did a great job with this subject
very funny!
--Tori
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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hehe, this is good. i certainly wouldn't be able to write something like this, it requires a lot of talent and creativity.
i like how it starts out like a "love poem" and the reader's eyes probably begin to roll, but then it changes moods. gave me a little grin.
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Aw, your beauty divine, what a nice nice nice worded line
and then going on awwwwww awwww again with such sweet word choice in touch like a prayer.
But WoW what a turn around.
Your point you begin to make is so true. I am probably one to write a typical love poem, from time to time. It sucks but it is hard to sound origanal with your words of love.
It can be true that the words lose all cause, except for one person, the person you wrote it for, Inmy humble opinion of course
It couldn't have been said any other way --
It doesn't matter
'cause i love you
I have read a couple of your poems now, and this is my FAV. That could change, lol, but for now This one for sure, Loved IT!! :-)
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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If I was writing this to a girl, I'dve kept the mushy stuff lol
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LOL.
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Smiles and chuckles galore
I like it. Had me laughing a little. Some people may get offended by this, just a heads up, yet I like it because of the twist and the humor of being bluntly truthful at the end. Terrific read for me and very humorous.
-Renjilanguage: 3, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 5.
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If they get offended I'll politely ask them to prove me wrong with an even better mushy-love poem
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