When the day broke open
sunny side up on the pavement
I could only stand rigid,
though I knew you'd come with me
and bring your oceans along.
And me, well I know nothing
of communication despite the title
'messenger of song.'
My voice cracked and doesn't long
to get back on the bull.
I lost my placement, left my reason
in a back pocket of a different
pair of jeans, took up seclusion
when confusion had its way with me.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The poet is surely hurting here, Kristin; she's not only lost the need for, but the reality of settled reason. And I know the feeling! - to be offered "oceans" by someone, yet stubbornly and confusedly "stand rigid" and disavow any knowledge of, and responding need to, open up, like her own "messenger of song."
That strange third stanza is the core of the poem for me as I read it: some "bull" challenge or playfulness, back in some universal bar of some kind, no longer appeals; the poet's "voice is cracked" past any hope for self-revelation or clarity of emotions. She's exhausted. Here solution? "seclusion."
For me, Kristin, this is one of your most original poems, with its odd images and nearly disjointed metaphors - right in line with its lost feelings. Very fine!
Lad -
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Thank you, Lad. Once again you have read between every line and managed to understand my words. Nothing means more than that.
And sadly, this poem still speaks for me as well as it did when I first wrote it. Really wish that would change, but I've still got some time before it does.
Thanks again, truly.
Hope you're doin' alright
Kristin
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Hey,
Nice to see a new post. Interesting poem. There are varied elements and this is quite brief compared to most of your work.
The first stanza seemed to reveal an inability to just move forward or let go of something. And the presence of another and the ocean that comes along doesn't help. Doesn't allow you to move.
The second stanza i liked alot. Maybe it the idea that the title "messenger of song" seem to allude to your singing. And it does convey emptiness of words since even with that title one cannot communicate.
The title is magnified by the last two stanzas. The couplet denotes the lack of motivation. The last confirming that lack of desire and the decision to withdraw.
The sense of lost in all the confusion...the things that made us suddenly feel meaningless. It conveys self-doubt on who we are; that the things that we thought "we were" aren't us. I liked this poem. It has that melodramatic feel to it and almost felt like a song slurred through in a jazz bar. I don't know why but that was the thought, but it does give that feel. Musty and black and white.
-iphios -
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Hey iphios
What a wonderful comment to get.
I agree that this is quite brief compared to most. I suppose sometimes few words sum up a huge part of what's going through my head. Rarely, but it does happen.
You understood all of my points. I'm not surprised but I'm grateful and I love the fact it reminds you of 'a song slurred through in a jazz bar.' That's a great comparison to make, a flattering one at that.
Thank you, iphios. Always a pleasure.
Kristin -
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Its a good thing when one is able to understand another poet's thoughts. And yes...a song slurred through in a jazz bar IS a compliment.
-iphios
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