Are you true at Heart?
No use if you abuse;
Admit you have failed, you idiot!
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It isn't a 5-7-5 kind of write
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Daaaammmnn....
somebody's getting the beat-down. Somebody dun pissed you off and you seem out for blood, Kiddy. What's up with that? You can't write a poem like this and not share all the juicy details. Please, do tell...My curiosity is killin' me. Come on, now. Spill your guts, Kiddy.
Al. Rewarded 6
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Hi Al
No worries,…
Kiddy is the happiest person until she sees others suffering. But, being a media-person I couldn’t tolerate guys’ attitude towards girls. This particular news story disturbed me a lot, because the victimized girl’s name and my Lost-sister’s are the same… a kinda name affinity… I felt really helpless when my senior reporter dealt with that news story… I pitied… put my legs into her shoes…and was in a need of some way out..as a result, these poems…
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Wow a very strong piece. I hear it loudly.
Each person should admit to , when they have failed.
Very expressive writing Kiddy, But great JOB
. Rewarded 4
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what?
Very simple and straight thought.
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I love this peice. short. simple. to the point. in 3 lines you conveyed so much rage and emotion.
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Haiku?
I don't follow this format very much, so can't be much of a "judge." The brevity only leaves a little room for message, though I suppose the more message the better the Haiku? This, of course runs the whole story in only a few words. The first line, a simple statement, is directed by the second and is also where the meaning of the first takes form. It doesn't say, "apparently you've been abusing somebody else's heart, or even that somebody has been abusing yours," but then you know something is coming. With the last line the second is clarified and the blame is justified. The only issue I find is the generalization of the first two lines, sort of an omnicient observation--then the switch to personal admonition. It's kind of like two positions, with the speaker standing outside observing then jumping inside the skin of the character. I actually don't know how I feel about that.
This is probably a little overkill, which is what I do......
L
October 27, 2007