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Words Written from Pain

Words written from pain
Are not The Truth
But they’re part of the truth,
Cries of an animal losing its life
under an avalanche ages gone,
By chance unthawed; now hear, crying,
someone dying unheeded,
drowned in the mountains, overcome
Engulfed unwarned
winded, crushed, toppled tumbling
fighting to breathe-in
snow that once fell
gently

They are sounds
from a creature
Thirsty, fearful,
Trapped in tar

They are tears from a vent in
the earth,
molten rock
cannot be held
imprisoned by anything,
even the sea;
and though she wears a skirt
of fields and potsherds
these smears of mankind
fall away in a breath,
Hotter than oil poured smoking
scalding
By men from the ramparts
scarring, sad;
yet
even men's wars are
mere death by cruelty, welts on the skin.

The earth is greater
and so, when sad,
nothing remains of whole cities.
Civilisations
made lost in time,
in an instant
in blistering, spilling cloud.
What remains is only a memory
later revealed
a cast
an impression
of pain
of bone.

Author notes

I wrote this to explain to an ex-partner the unfathomable depth of pain that fueled an explosion of rage. It wasn't pretty.

How clear is this theme, does it manage to sustain itself through the poem's length?

    : Comment:

Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • dave ochs gold member
    October 28, 2007

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    hey riveralex

    i was thinking as a poet your the queen of pain. not of the teen angst woe is me variety, but the real pain of living.
    i thought their where a lot great images in this poem, animals trapped in tar,
    and the idea that nature is more devastating than even more is truly profound,
    as for theme i think this is more about pain than rage hence i would change it to Words Written In Pain
    dave


    • Riveralex gold member
      October 29, 2007
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      ...further on your comments...

      I wrote this as a kind of apology to explain to an ex-partner how pain lies behind my behaving like Godzilla from time to time. How unstoppable it is to have become enraged, how it must be horrible to be on the receiving end but is somehow it is volcanic, as big as nature, to have no choice about exploding sometimes. I don't think it's wholly successful as a poem but as I said to Windhover, I couldn't let any of it go.

      Maybe later...

    • Riveralex gold member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Good suggestion, Dave

      ...will do. Thanks RA


  • Windhover gold member
    October 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    The bones of 2 good poems ?

    Hi River. This one rambled a bit I thought, failing to nail a particular poetic idea, as if it was stuck between two slightly different ones ( fossilized grief v. and the planet as a living entity,as the ancients once saw her (Goia I think they called her). Accordingly it became a little prosaic at times. I think you have the 'bones' of two good poems here.


    • Riveralex gold member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Yeah, it needs work and thinking

      about, it's a struggle this one, I know there's too much in it but i was greedy cos it all came out at once in a jumble and I didn't want to let any of it go. Maybe I should leave it and cannibalise it later... I know there's something here but haven't quite released it - thanks for the sharp read

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