You know,
I'm so very proud
of the achievements of my gender.
Of the scrapyard we left on the moon,
and all those cylinders
on Everest
just dumped, so those doctors
and CEOs, those
jaded, twisted tourists
could feel hard;
And I'm especially proud
of the mountain of plastic bags
now evident on every beach
in Antartica.
Y'know,
my Dad was a regular guy,
president of the Rotary
president of his class
played college football,
Most Likely to Succeed.
They gave him a diamond
for his Services to Mankind.
It was the year he took off his leather belt
with the big shiny buckle
And whipped my eight-year-old sister
for telling a lie;
He didn't ask why.
This 32 degree Mason,
Just 5 degrees short
Of a healthy human being.
And all you
Harley-riding dentists
and those dead sad bastards in the twin towers.
We've all pretended they were innocents,
and yeah, there were a few.
But this world we've let happen,
You and me,
We had the power
And the cash
And the decency to try
You and I.
And all we did
was write polemics
and turn on CSI.
Author notes
Note: in Celsius, 37 degrees is 98.6...ish. Gender issues interest me, I like to look at themes from different sides of the divide and see what rings true.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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i dont' know the word 'polemics'
but anyways, i like the poem, i like it a lot....it's beautiful but sarcastic
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This world we have let happen.....that one line said it all Alex
But the entire piece was great, well written to give it a smooth rhythm which isn't easier with longer writes.
Opinionated....which I love to see in poetry..it is the poets true voice coming through...and boy it did in this
What more could you do, then look at it from both sides and see what rings true
A great write here, one of your best
Cindy
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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I Love Angry Rants About Fathers
This 32 degree Mason,
Just 5 degrees short
Of a healthy human being.
--NICE! Five degrees is pretty far from healthy-- beyond hypothermic I'd say. The title aptly reflects the strength of this poem.
Any time the twin towers come up in art I get a bit queezy. It's such a powerful image & I fear there isn't much justice we can do to it.
I do like the righteous indignation, however.
The poem is not completely fluid from stanza to stanza. 1st stanza tells of your disgust about male hegemony. 2nd stanza tells a history of your father. 3rd-4th stanzas pontificate and ask the readers questions. I think that the second stanza is brilliant. (IMHO it could stand by itself as a short poem)
Thanks for the read!!
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How did I ever miss
...responding to such a fab review, I'm only a struggler when it comes to fluidity -I write and learn by it. SO thanks and best wishes and welcome to SP Best RA
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I love it! Great sarcasm and all! I like the way you have brought-up major issues without (yes this may sound stupid, but...) bring them up...Just a general statment here and there then, boom on to the next big thing.
lol, I figured the whole 37degrees thing was in celsius...though I had to think a bit! =]
I love it when people kinda look into the human mind or our behavior. It seems that no matter how many people think they are so innocent or not guilty, they still come up as sterotypes or what-have-you.
Great write,
Ashley
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I love the sarcasm and cynism that oozes from each pore. Gender issues aside, arent we proud that we as human beings are so destructive and hypocritical on a 100 levels. Dont get me started.
I ache for poems like this, that make me think and ponder upon issues that seem to leave my mind when i choose to obsess about shoes and which dress i should buy for a stupid party.
Thanks for the food for thought.
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 3.
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Very nice, Alex! The anger seethes through but I feel that you are doing your best to hold it in...biting your tongue through the sarcasm "And I'm especially proud
of the mountain of plastic bags
now evident on every beach
in Antartica." I think we all want to feel that nothing is our fault, but here you really drive home the fact that guilt lies in the laps of everyone, even those "heroes" who died in the twin towers. Thanks! I enjoyed the read very much.
Heidi
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Every image of this upfront plea rings true for me, alex. It's powerful stuff - wry, sardonic, sly and justifiably cynical about all that a whole generation of males (and some females too) thinks is righteous; then it takes its reward for all that chest-pounding by placing its dumbass in front of formula crime shows or by wearing flagpins. What a crock of hypocrisy - and your sharply written, CLEAR poem (what a relief to get actual CLARITY from a good poem!) reveals the core of our and the earth's tragedies: our self-centered smugness.
Some politically-oriented poems are thoughts without angry words; some are angry words without thoughts. Yours here has both to the max. I'm glad I happened to see it listed in "Rewarding Poetry." Wonderful work.
Lad -
dont know that any of it sounds awkward I love this "Up in your face" kind of writing. Swept along line after line in a story that slams you up against a rock........
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Hi, River. Having perused your poems, I must say, I really like your style. I like the clear voice, the unblinking look at modern society, the interesting juxtaposition of circumstances-- plastic bags on Antarctica, a father who beats his child, CSI. You wove them together deftly, never straying from the point.
My only other thought is-- hear, hear!
Pie
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Thanks, CP
It's great particularly to please those whose work i rate as highly as I rate yours, I hope we'll exchange lots of interesting stuff and I look forward to that.
Best RA
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Bloody Good Write !
I really liked this one River. It has that sort of slam poetry feel to it and it just gets up and gets down to it straight away. I don't know if it has canvassed my support to your oh-so-commonsense views or simply stirred my innate sympathy to these views - but I believe it had exactly the effect you aimed for and I'm ready to sign up to your politicl party forthwith! Bloody Good Write! >W< -
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Yes, I can see the slam feel...
..and it was slam-written, in one torrid stream of outrage against my own inertia as well as other more obvious targets. Unless we do some evolving beyond competition as the fundamental human paradigm we really are stupid (I don't leave myself out of this.) So my political party is called the AIE (pronounced "aiyeeeeeee!"), the Alex IN-favour-of Evoloution Party. Members and contributions welcome, I've always wanted to write a manifesto.
Best RA
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