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Crystal clear rivers winding into the distance The sweet smell of long summer days Lilac, Peony, lavender and Hyacinth Gentle swooping doves flying across the land Roses planted row on row; with petals the colour of the sun Mere wisps of clouds are all that dare pervert the crisp blue sky The grass is a pure green, not besmirched with a single thistle Cherry trees are in full blossom The occasional petal is carried by the very smallest of breezes A rabbit of pure white hops graciously across the ground In search of food; which is nothing but plentiful Crisp apples; as red as the Black Prince’s Ruby Hang from the trees; with only a few permitted to lie upon the ground The only sounds audible are those of perfection; The gentle calling of the birds, the slow running water of the golden rivers And soft notes and chords of a slowly played harp linger in the air A lonesome man hanging from a heavy rope in the grandest of Oak trees Maybe the Elysian Fields were not what he needed |
What do you think?
Comments
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good visuals
very good descriptions, in my opinion the ending is kind of missing something, but overall great writing
language: 4, rhythm: 5, subject: 3, tone: 4, form: 5.

