We lie down here,
On this rock in the night, facing nothing but itself
We didn’t get to Paris, we didn’t get to the lands we promised ourselves,
That we spoke of during those warm, happy nights,
Voices excited, dreams floating freely,
Used and wasted as quickly as we could think of them.
We didn’t discover Narnia, we didn’t find a new land, we didn’t push out and out and out until there was nowhere left to go,
But it doesn’t matter anymore.
Years and days flew bye like seeds drifting on the wind,
Youth was a passing phase, quickly released for age
And now we’re here, I don’t care
That we didn’t get to Italy, to France, to Spain.
It’s nice here after all, on this warm rock with the sun
Its enough for this adventurer that we got this far
And now all I want to do is watch the sunlight,
Dancing on your hair,
And put my arms around you,
And watch the sands being swirled by the breeze.
We got this far, we found a peace
We don’t need adventure,
Not to-day.
Its enough to make me believe the best in man, here, on this rock with you
A desert flood of contentment, a place where we can Be,
Undisturbed, undistracted Being.
You and me.
This is where we are, this is where we’ll stay
Its enough for me that we got this far.
Author notes
This is my take on the Elton John version of "Can you feel the love tonight?" a wonderful song based on one from the Lion King. Ive recently become obsessed with this song, and had a sudden inspiration and...Bang! Here it is. Tell me if you like it or not, or, if you know the song Im talking about, whether its too much of a copy.
Thank you,
-colin
Do you like it? Any critiscm, suggestions?
Comments
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Hi, colin. It's been a while, but I see that your voice is still singing - it's all through this love song. For me, it has your trademark balance between two opposites, always a pleasure to read in your work: all the adventures of hopes and dreams, and all the same adventures not come true. But for the poet here, it doesn't matter because "it's enough for me that we got this far."
And "this far" in this poem is a lot: love together, love FELT, love that's lasted years, past youth to "a desert flood of contentment..." Nice, especially with the whole poem's undertone of "Youth was a passing phase..." And, no, I don't think the poem is a ripoff of Elton's song at all - the poem actually enhances it with rich originality.
Sorry I haven't been to your page in a while; I just didn't notice when you'd written anything new. That will change. I'm glad we wrote the other day.
Always your poetic pal,
Lad -
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Lad,
I'm glad you like it and I am so glad we wrote the other day. I admit that I also havent read any of your works in a long time. I want to, I just havent the time at the moment. So sorry, and I promise a comment soon.
-Colin
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a very romantic and lovely piece. it has a nice rhythm and i didnt want to stop reading it. i love the imagery and the carelessness. "as long as their together" feel it has. very nice.
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Thanks! I'm glad you like it. Thats exactly the feeling I was going for.
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